Laborious Day Savins' At Croton!

[TemerityB]

Just a glance at this gamy pile 'o junk should tell you all you need to know of what's left of The Merm's kingdom - at 80 percent off, this stuff is overpriced by about 80 percent.

https://www.crotonwatch.com/collections ... als?page=1

[foghorn]

Blech!!~~!

[conjurer]

They appear to have run out of the 55-inch belts.

[3Flushes]

Man, even the pens are cheesy.

[TemerityB]

And wow - I clicked a link, and found the oh, oh, official list of Croblings retailers - which includes Dim & Mongo's Leftover Pile 'O TV China Fun, and the Heartland America catalog - it's just like Dr. Leonard's but without the double-headed jelly dong dildos!

[conjurer]

Nothing says horology like Fingerhut.

[fatman]

No Roulette watch so I am out!

[conjurer]

No Roulette watch so I am out!

It's fucking Matt! How you doing, you crazy bastard??

[DocKlock]

[fatman]

No Roulette watch so I am out!

It's fucking Matt! How you doing, you crazy bastard??

Good John and you?

[conjurer]

No Roulette watch so I am out!

It's fucking Matt! How you doing, you crazy bastard??

Good John and you?

I'm doing good, Matt. I'm doing real fucking good!

[svaglic]

Hey Matt. Good to see you.

[TemerityB]

fatman!

Just seeing your handle is so cool. Newbies: fatman is true WL royalty.

[conjurer]

fatman!

Just seeing your handle is so cool. Newbies: fatman is true WL royalty.

Yup. Some years ago, fatman fell ill to heart issues, and had to go under the doctor's knife. He posted about it, and, this being WLs, more than a few members chimed in, wishing him well but also breaking his balls a little bit. A little over a day after getting his chest cracked open, fatman posted to say he was doing well, and telling us all to go fuck ourselves. This is when I first started calling him a Viking.

Later, he posed as a Geek and called into a Urine Live Invicter watch show, with Mongo hosting, and punked him with a story about having to rob bowling alleys to fund his Invicter habit. This was seen as the end-times of the hulking, alcoholic, bullying convict that was Invicter's Technical Brand Manager, and cemented fatman in Watchlords lore, a story that will be told by admiring future generations of Lords.

[Rusty]

Good story, John. Fatman, I bow down in your presence.

[fatman]

Good seeing you guys, the kind words aren't necessary. I'm privileged to have been kept around so long. Solid group of peeps here and I'd have any your backs.


If what's on that link is all of the Croton empire then it is sad days indeed for the Merm, that Storm a few yrs ago really fucked him up.

[conjurer]

Indeed, fatman is correct; the Merm (aka David Mermelstein, aka the Motherfucking Merm) was, at one time, the king of TeeVee wartches. While this title has been grabbed by the Panamanian upstart and parvenu, Eyal Lalo of Invicter, back in the Earlies the Merm made Eyal look like a hundred and fifty pounds of toned shit stuffed into a hundred pound Polo shirt.

For a while, Eyal would show some sort of pretense of horological importance, using at least a few interesting movements, putting them into non-clown watches, the Merm never gave a shit. If a truck transporting some gold-plated ETA automatic movements hit a speed bump in the Bronx and dumped some of its load, the Merm was there to shovel 'em up and slap them into a Super C. Later on, Eyal tried to move his shit with promises of the Good Life to the simps, with the Pony Farm (jerkoffs in dressage gear jumping horses over fences and shit) to the Invicta Marina, telling mooks like pacerguy that wearing a 78mm Bolt would get him photographed with the Smart Set in Town & Country magazine. But never the Merm, goddamn it.

All he wanted to do was move product. No bullshit with Tim Temple or Jawbone; cheap was good, cheap was better, cheap was American, boychik. He also was absurdly out of date with his marketing; his famous shark watch--which had a picture of a shark's bloody maw printed on the dial--came out three decades after Jaws. If he could have gotten away with a picture of Ward Cleaver cornholing June on an oversized Datejust, he would have given it a shot.

[TemerityB]

To illustrate one of conj's cogent points:

[TemerityB]

I think we oughta saw off Florida and let South America take it away, as Bugs Bunny said. A fine, upstanding local in West Palm is selling the classic piece (or asking for), wants about about 300 smackers. And it's used. There is no low. The most made-fun-of watch in cheapjack history, and he's marking it up.

[DocKlock]

"Almost Like New" --- ALMOST!!