by conjurer » September 8th 2018, 10:57pm
Indeed, fatman is correct; the Merm (aka David Mermelstein, aka the Motherfucking Merm) was, at one time, the king of TeeVee wartches. While this title has been grabbed by the Panamanian upstart and parvenu, Eyal Lalo of Invicter, back in the Earlies the Merm made Eyal look like a hundred and fifty pounds of toned shit stuffed into a hundred pound Polo shirt.
For a while, Eyal would show some sort of pretense of horological importance, using at least a few interesting movements, putting them into non-clown watches, the Merm never gave a shit. If a truck transporting some gold-plated ETA automatic movements hit a speed bump in the Bronx and dumped some of its load, the Merm was there to shovel 'em up and slap them into a Super C. Later on, Eyal tried to move his shit with promises of the Good Life to the simps, with the Pony Farm (jerkoffs in dressage gear jumping horses over fences and shit) to the Invicta Marina, telling mooks like pacerguy that wearing a 78mm Bolt would get him photographed with the Smart Set in Town & Country magazine. But never the Merm, goddamn it.
All he wanted to do was move product. No bullshit with Tim Temple or Jawbone; cheap was good, cheap was better, cheap was American, boychik. He also was absurdly out of date with his marketing; his famous shark watch--which had a picture of a shark's bloody maw printed on the dial--came out three decades after Jaws. If he could have gotten away with a picture of Ward Cleaver cornholing June on an oversized Datejust, he would have given it a shot.
I checked you out, and I now want you to take the journey to lick my taint. It's small, but vast.
--Temerity, to Mr. Neckbeard.