Hello Everyone

Re: Hello Everyone

Postby conjurer » September 18th 2018, 8:17pm

TemerityB wrote:I checked you out, and I now want you to take the journey to lick my taint. It's small, but vast.


This made me laugh pretty fucking hard indeed. And, I've got a new sig-line!
I checked you out, and I now want you to take the journey to lick my taint. It's small, but vast.


--Temerity, to Mr. Neckbeard.
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby Mark1 » September 18th 2018, 10:27pm

These watches have Hotness Pick written all over them.
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby conjurer » September 18th 2018, 10:30pm

Mark1 wrote:These watches have Hotness Pick written all over them.


Quite so. I could indeed see MD going all millenial's over these, even to the point of shoe-horning himself into skinny jeans and growing a neckbeard--which is pretty much how he probably looks when he isn't appearing on TV or streaming video; those extra razor blades really eat into the hooch fund.
I checked you out, and I now want you to take the journey to lick my taint. It's small, but vast.


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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby bedlam » September 19th 2018, 3:17am

What a catalogue you have Mr Innovative. Every one a potential Red Dot Award nominee!

Hello and goodbye.
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby 3Flushes » September 19th 2018, 8:40am

foghorn wrote:...V8 Superspeed on Ebay


https://www.ebay.com/itm/V8-Super-Speed ... 3268313406

Be sure and pick up that 2 year extended warranty folks!
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby Falstaff » September 19th 2018, 8:42am

I'm feeling tolerant today, so in that spirit I suggest merely that we carve the blood eagle into his back, slit his belly and let the hogs root among his entrails. Have a nice day sir.
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby Hawk » September 19th 2018, 4:30pm

Kids these days. In my time we'd at least photoshop the image a tiny bit and make some small effort not to advertise shopify.com every time someone mouses over a picture. And we'd do it after walking uphill in the snow to get to school - both ways.

Like this one from innovative millenial:
Image

Nobody would ever find the exact same pic on Alibaba or would one?
https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/ ... 14329.html
https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2018-Fa ... 52988.html
or
https://8banana.com/products/creative-f ... uple-watch


Note to the lazy internet cheese marketer: if you can spring for the minimum quantity of 50 the product is 1.77 at Alibaba. Aliexpress will hit you for 4 bucks but without the minimum. This can go as high as 20.00 at 8banana (also shopify dependent) - as opposed to innovative millenial where the product is on sale for 40.00.

Shopify with stock photos, drop shipping probably by Oberlo and you too can bring in the big bucks from shut-ins and assorted cretins. It's like staring into a gaseous nebula to witness the birth of a star except this time it's the birth of a marketing scheme that makes the Merm look like Warren fucking Buffet.

There is nothing about this whole thing that suggests an investment beyond a dumpster-grade laptop and an overpriced coffee shop with free wifi. No need to invoke the more expensive option of operating out of mom's basement with a broadband supplier. Don't stay too long without ordering a latte if employing the more obvious solution.


What the fuck ever happened to lemonade stands to make a little scratch? Or maybe a strategic alliance with a local girl scout - those thin mints sell very well at a tidy profit to say nothing of s'mores. Break the boxes, sell them individually in little baggies and charge 3.00 a piece.

Rewster and I must be getting old.

On the brighter side it's shit like this that makes curated microbrand sellers look like a Grand Seiko boutique in contrast. Microbrands.store probably rates a digital ticker tape parade from us cantankerous old fucks. Comparatively speaking that is.
And the fact I'm still living rent free in his head makes me grin and giggle.
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby TemerityB » September 19th 2018, 7:35pm

Hawk wrote:Note to the lazy internet cheese marketer: if you can spring for the minimum quantity of 50 the product is 1.77 at Alibaba. Aliexpress will hit you for 4 bucks but without the minimum. This can go as high as 20.00 at 8banana (also shopify dependent) - as opposed to innovative millenial where the product is on sale for 40.00.


Nice catch. In laymen's terms: What a fucking rip-off artist. Yeah, he'll respond to all these comments soon, I'm sure.
12/16/18, Evine: Justin Zimmer and Todd Newton describee a $399 Chinese Bolt Zeus as a "grail" and a "masterpiece." Taking Christmas money from dummies? It'll catch up to you, you desperate weasels. It always does - and quick.
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby Hawk » September 19th 2018, 8:47pm

What impresses me is the abject laziness of these Shopify dweebs.

With a better internet connection he could go around the Alibaba seller, get the thing imprinted with his own brand like, say, 脖子胡子, dodge the seller's Alibaba fees and get the price closer to 65 cents including current and threatened tariffs as well as freight.

Of course the minimum quantity might take a bump but isn't that what kickstarter is for? We've gone too long without seeing "affordable luxury" - a term that just begs to be included in the same paragraph as "small but vast".

Nothing whatsoever illegal about selling sub-two dollar product for 40.00 (when on sale) but it's what my mama used to call "fucking in the daylight". I'm paraphrasing here.

Those ebay sellers aren't going broke selling the same thing for 4.75 - there's enough profit there for a part time internet seller. All hail the competitive market.
And the fact I'm still living rent free in his head makes me grin and giggle.
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby conjurer » September 19th 2018, 9:20pm

Hawk wrote:Those ebay sellers aren't going broke selling the same thing for 4.75 - there's enough profit there for a part time internet seller. All hail the competitive market.


Quite so. After all, we're not communists (apart from Carl.) Of course Mr. Neckbeard can do what he wants; if he wishes to buy some Chinese sweatshop shit for a buck or two and then try to fleece the knucklehead millennial's for a $38 profit, more power to him. It's somewhat interesting to me that he thinks he can get away with it with a generation whose only usefulness (Mr. Bloke excepted, naturally) is in their technical prowess with PCs and shit. I highly doubt that any millennial has ever bought a 35 cent washer at Home Depot before checking the price at Amazon. One would think that if a fossil like Mr. Hawk can find the supplier's price for a piece of Chinese shit, the millennial's could as well.
I checked you out, and I now want you to take the journey to lick my taint. It's small, but vast.


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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby Hawk » September 20th 2018, 8:39am

Good point. A conscious millennial would have a fair idea of the value. Clearly old fossil watch enthusiasts aren't his prime market either.

But shopify does specialize in infiltration of social media and I suspect millenials that spend most of their time sending and recieving emojis might well be susceptible to impulse purchases. It's not like a 40 buck purchase would trigger their nascent comparison shopper or tickle their skeptic muscle or BS detector - if indeed they possess such a thing.

What we're seeing here, if past is prologue, is the earliest form of Lalo life as it first crawled from the primordial ooze. It has yet to develop a fantastic MSRP which could be discounted 90% to 50.00 followed by a "today's top value" or "once only" landing it at 40.00. There's no offer of interest free value payz so that one might pay 6.67 a month for six months. The original brand has not been changed, the dial lacks "Swiss Made" markings and the crystal hasn't been creatively renamed to imply magical properties. No grandmother has been projected back in time to sell trinkets to Marie Antoinette. There's no cheap jack streaming show featuring drunks or screeching harpies. Wheedling one's way onto a third tier home shopping network has not yet evolved. The stainless steel isn't yet "surgical grade". I could go on but you get the picture.

There's a solid foundation laid down regarding the ways and means of selling a two dollar watch for 40.00 and he's employing almost none of them. When it comes to being a real charlatan dancing on the edges of legality he remains a blind cave fish among sharks. I suppose you could call it "damning with faint praise" but he ain't no Lalo. Yet. Neither is he a WoW - his method involves next to no upfront costs. The mark's money is in hand before it's paid out. Is there such a thing as a lazy cave fish?
And the fact I'm still living rent free in his head makes me grin and giggle.
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby conjurer » September 20th 2018, 9:05am

Hawk wrote:What we're seeing here, if past is prologue, is the earliest form of Lalo life as it first crawled from the primordial ooze. It has yet to develop a fantastic MSRP which could be discounted 90% to 50.00 followed by a "today's top value" or "once only" landing it at 40.00. There's no offer of interest free value payz so that one might pay 6.67 a month for six months. The original brand has not been changed, the dial lacks "Swiss Made" markings and the crystal hasn't been creatively renamed to imply magical properties. No grandmother has been projected back in time to sell trinkets to Marie Antoinette. There's no cheap jack streaming show featuring drunks or screeching harpies. Wheedling one's way onto a third tier home shopping network has not yet evolved. The stainless steel isn't yet "surgical grade". I could go on but you get the picture.



This is possibly the finest paragraph ever written anywhere in the history of the universe.

And, it's also true; up until now, we've been tilting a some pretty fucking big windmills, going after the T Rexes like Lalo and La Mink, and ignoring the protozoan scammers. Mr. Neckbeard, instead of being taken on a scenic ride to the Pine Barrens, should be kept in carefully maintained safe environment, to be studied. I understand this will be a pain in the ass (I'm certainly not going to clean his cage every day--I've got a fucking life over here) but it is quite important!!
I checked you out, and I now want you to take the journey to lick my taint. It's small, but vast.


--Temerity, to Mr. Neckbeard.
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby 3Flushes » September 20th 2018, 10:06am

conjurer wrote:
Hawk wrote:What we're seeing here, if past is prologue, is the earliest form of Lalo life as it first crawled from the primordial ooze. It has yet to develop a fantastic MSRP which could be discounted 90% to 50.00 followed by a "today's top value" or "once only" landing it at 40.00. There's no offer of interest free value payz so that one might pay 6.67 a month for six months. The original brand has not been changed, the dial lacks "Swiss Made" markings and the crystal hasn't been creatively renamed to imply magical properties. No grandmother has been projected back in time to sell trinkets to Marie Antoinette. There's no cheap jack streaming show featuring drunks or screeching harpies. Wheedling one's way onto a third tier home shopping network has not yet evolved. The stainless steel isn't yet "surgical grade". I could go on but you get the picture.



This is possibly the finest paragraph ever written anywhere in the history of the universe.

And, it's also true; up until now, we've been tilting a some pretty fucking big windmills, going after the T Rexes like Lalo and La Mink, and ignoring the protozoan scammers. Mr. Neckbeard, instead of being taken on a scenic ride to the Pine Barrens, should be kept in carefully maintained safe environment, to be studied. I understand this will be a pain in the ass (I'm certainly not going to clean his cage every day--I've got a fucking life over here) but it is quite important!!

If I still had grad students to torture, I'd be glad to handle the research, but alas, I have forsaken academia for trout fishing, sled riding and four seasons. That being said, a ride to the Pine Barrens sounds grand and we could stop at Del Monicos and check out the Fall cocktail lineup before dinner. Just sayin'-----research is good, too. Yeah, some research.
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby nimbleboy » September 21st 2018, 7:41am

damn it!

Image
Is it safe?
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Re: Hello Everyone

Postby Falstaff » September 21st 2018, 1:02pm

An anagram of Megir is grime.
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