by conjurer » September 18th 2018, 10:21pm
Fuck! I can't believe I even fucking clicked on that fucking link. My fucking eyes burned right out of my skull. These Decupod-La-la watches make me want to fucking puke. I doubt I've ever seen anything as fucking ghey as this shit, and I once watched Raymond Burr eating a fucking Slim-Jim. There is literally no Cabriole table leg big enough to hammer up my fucking ass to express my fucking foggy-like ennui over this fucking shit. These are superb wartchs for hipster cocksuckers--nothing there; no interesting movement, no interesting fucking design, no fucking shit at all. Oh! I can imagine some millennial screaming, Oh! These watches are so interesting!! I can wear one whilst sipping a decoupage latte in my skinny jeans! I could Instagram the shit out of these, and all my Instagram pals will be shitting into their skinny jeans and porkpie fucking hats! Fuck that shit, man. These are complete, utter shit. I'd rather put my sister into an Akron whorehouse to get fucked in the ass by a bunch of Bandido bikers than put one of these on my brother's fucking wrist. This wartchs make me spew my fucking guts out. The wartche is ghey, the shape is fucking ghey, and the motherfucking colourways are fucking ghey. I'd rather ram a fucking red-hot branding iron up my fucking ass than look at this cocksucking shit again. The only people who'd wear this fucking shit are limp-wristed homos and Public School bois from the U fucking K who have been so fucking rectally traumatized that they wouldn't fucking know the goddamn difference. I wouldn't strap one of these pieces of motherfucking shit onto the wrist of my worst fucking enemies just before shoving the bastards head-first into a fucking blast furnace.
I really don't care for these watches.
I checked you out, and I now want you to take the journey to lick my taint. It's small, but vast.
--Temerity, to Mr. Neckbeard.