Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby BigCheez » August 9th 2012, 8:18pm

As mentioned in an earlier coded missive, I am staying at the "Summer Palace" of a well-known horological celebrity.

His pool is REALLY nice:
Image
Try as I might, I was not allowed to view his list of current Val U Payz, but he DID invite me to the pool party!
Image
Image

He has lots of friends, between facebook and watchfora and many of them showed up for today's soiree.
Image
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I was able to use the distraction of the festivities to slip away for my critically-important, yet exceptionally-dangerous BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠







Here is a brief overview of my BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠:

The Marine Pavillion™ and Equestrian stables/Chateau® are situated in a very swanky area, indeed.
Image
I very nonchalantly perused the entrance to the gated community using every fiber of my stealthy being to blend in.




Many champions of industry, including but not limited to the international import/export segment, demand 24/7 armed guards and multiple layers of security.
Image
ImageImage





Getting past this fortress-like security would not prove easy, but with my training, stealth (for someone as bloated and atrophied, especially) as well as inhuman levels of perseverance fueled by CheezNips and Diet Red Bulls, I would not be stopped.

It was actually quite reminiscent of the tremendous determination of EVERYONE'S FRIEND© "thewatchgeek" (he of the fancy script, and measured, loving nature), who in spite of all evidence and rational thought, WILL continue his quest to own the greatest number of TV watches that his finite resources can muster.



Back to the critically-important, yet exceptionally-dangerous BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠,
I settled upon a plan: A "backdoor", if you will.



I was forced to park several miles from the target and walk, or to be more technically-accurate, lumber to my entry point.Image Equestrians from Lalo's Chateau and stables almost spotted me very early in my mission, but I hid. Thank training and ninja-like reflexes for success during that close call!


I'm still lumbering through this part, too: Image


Educational Factoid:
Here are what sandfleas look like up close. Don't ask where these creatures seem most inclined to want to inhabit on the human body.
Image


Here are some other cool photos, this time of what sandfleas like to do:
ImageImage


National security and personal-inhibition prevent me from providing any self-portraits or great detail; let it suffice to say that I am filing this report standing up. Image



After traversing the dunes and beaches I came upon my target: the back fence. At that time I learned I could have parked right by it and simply walked around the flimsy barrier, but who knew?
Image


I used every stealth manuver in my vast training to slip past the armed guards, roving K9 patrols, motion and heat sensors, and even teenagers hopped up on skittles and Purple Drank. I would NOT BE DENIED!



As I approached the private beach for the well-to-do residents of the community, I happened upon none other than the Technical Brand Manager® for Invicta and managing partner of WG.net, Michael Davis. He was either "unwinding" or perhaps "blowing off steam" after a particularly hard day of polishing knobs on the big guy's yacht. Either way, I did manage to capture it on videotape for his dossier:


It's "Invicta Ryan" in the Speedo at 2:30 going for the assist.

I continued on to my objective and eventually hit "pay dirt".

Here is the view from 500 yards from the compound: Image




If the opposite of non-plussed is PLUSSED, that would describe my emotions at that moment. I was utterly and completely deflated. Where was the oppulence, the cutting-edge style and panache that the ShopNBC brodcasts from the Marine Pavillion™ and Equestrian stables/Chateau® indicated?

It rather reminded me of a Panamanian shithouse on stilts... but how could this be?

Just then it hit me like a ton of shoddy, cut-rate Central-American bricks!

The brilliance behind the mind-bendingly amazing Invicta watch designs and edgy, yet completely-sleazy cable TV marketing genius had utilized a hidden ELEVATOR to provide the STEALTHIEST and SECUREST facility in the entirety of Floridian swankiness!Image
This particular unit was handmade by the top 10% of Swish™ elevator-makers! AND it goes ALL THE WAY to the bottom!



I am not at liberty to divulge all of the information I gathered while on the premises. Something about it being "embargoed until MZBerger and Michael Davis work out an accomodation", but as soon as I can, another, more detailed report of my findings will be filed.



I did, however convince my higher-ups (Top Men, as it were) to allow the release of some of my findings that were not redacted.

As you well know, it's hard to fit into those babygap shirts without working out! Here is Mr Lalo's spartan, yet fully-equipped gymImage It wasn't the elabore grade workout room, but everyone has to work within a budget.



On the other side of the equation, something virtually UNKNOWN by anyone who doesn't have "keys to the kool-kids lounge", I provide documentation here of the OTHER Lalo family yacht:
Docked beside "Big Yello" I found this beauty: Image Before the Eyal negotiated Val U Payz for the ritzy, canary-colored speedboat, THIS was a favorite vacation vessel for the young master Lalo.

Image
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby jason_recliner » August 9th 2012, 8:32pm

Legendary post!!!
Copyright Reclinervision 2020 Productions. All rights reserved.

If it thinks, it stinks
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby conjurer » August 9th 2012, 8:38pm

Agreed; the finest post in some time, perhaps, ever. I think Cheez should be tapped for the next James Bond novel by the Ian Fleming estate.
I checked you out, and I now want you to take the journey to lick my taint. It's small, but vast.


--Temerity, to Mr. Neckbeard.
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby boscoe » August 10th 2012, 4:58am

Most excellent, cheez! a true classic. the work of a literary hero!

enjoyed every second.
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby Seattle » August 10th 2012, 7:11am

Dangerous but necessary, thank you Cheeze for your reconnaissance.
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby tomsimac » August 10th 2012, 8:25am


Rate this as 10

Google Map next time. I was so caught up in this, I thought maybe you were going for Rush Limbaugh's autograph at first.
Can you do a Rush Tour soon?
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby jb182 » August 10th 2012, 3:54pm

Bravo! Bravo!
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby wottime » August 10th 2012, 4:15pm

+1 This should be a 'sticky' and required reading for all new and old members.
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby Mark1 » August 10th 2012, 5:18pm

It's good of HT to allow the unwashed masses use of his facilities.
See you're WRONG I don't work at all, I'm a Democrat. The immortal Horse Feathers as spoken to Chucky Ninetoes.
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby TRU-LYE » August 11th 2012, 9:22am

Bwahahahahha i actually lol'd reading this..
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby ChronoMATT » August 11th 2012, 11:52am

A classic. Must be placed on the WL greatest hits list.
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby bigedsurf » August 11th 2012, 11:56am

Good stuff here Cheez...........
time flies.........
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby hapster » August 12th 2012, 5:35am

Well done!!!
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby Luftwafflles » August 22nd 2012, 9:09am

Excellent....just....excellent.
We called another exterminator to take care of the rat problem in the basement. This one hasn't come out either.







.
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby chris s. » August 22nd 2012, 1:51pm

My wife calls him Ahole Aloe..:+)
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby conjurer » September 27th 2012, 7:17am

A well-deserved bump!
I checked you out, and I now want you to take the journey to lick my taint. It's small, but vast.


--Temerity, to Mr. Neckbeard.
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Re: Big Cheez's BIG MISSION BEHIND ENEMY LINES ℠

Postby koimaster » August 22nd 2016, 7:12am

Ttt
Image

1946-2006

“Your heart was warm and happy

With the lilt of Irish laughter

Every day and in every way

Now forever and ever after."
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