Originally posted at TZ

Originally posted at TZ

Postby foghorn » June 16th 2019, 9:32am

...by rKNY





These are too funny to not post again every few years:

Arrowneous- Mistakenly under the assumption that every watch with a broad arrow somewhere on it is actual military issue.


Ashpulse purchase- Buying a watch you don't truly want just because
you can get it overnight and you have a coupon.


Calatravesty- Wearing a dress watch while rock climbing.


Curiomark- A scratch you make on the back of a watch because you
simply had to see the movement.


Dialalysis Extended examination of a dial with a loupe.


Dialatribe- A long, ranting review of the dislikes of a particular
watch dial.


Discombezelated- A watch with a misaligned bezel.


Escapemint- The candy given out by retail watch dealers to be eaten
while they process your credit card.


Exhibacktionist- One who repeatedly removes their watch to show
off the display back.


Hologramology- The study or practice of the preservation of Rolex
stickers.


Hororific- An extremely ugly watch.


Invictanitis- A disease affecting the judgement of novice watch buyers.


Langeuish- To feel depressed after the purchase of a watch with a
price tag of 5 or more figures.


Lugcheese- The green stuff found between the lugs of a vintage watch.


Lumiscrutiny- The act of looking for unevenness in luminous hands/markers
in a dark bathroom.


Minervous- The slight trepidation felt just after ordering a watch
with a website's name on the dial.


Mintocchio- A watch dealer who describes every watch they sell as
"mint", regardless of the actual condition.

(see also: Nibnosia Rareiosis)


Nibnosia Rareiosis- A medical condition causing the sufferer to habitually
lie about the condition or desirability of a watch he or she is selling.
(see also: Mintocchio)


Pinjectile- An airborne spring bar.


Polternick- A scratch or dent on your watch that you have no recollection
of making.


Quartzsteria- The brief illusion that your quartz watch has stopped
even though it hasn't.


Rattrepain- A chronograph whose sweep seconds hand does not reset
to zero.


Remorse code- FSOT, LNIB.


Rolexia- The inability to distinguish between quality and popularity.


Seikosis- The repeated purchasing of Japanese watches that never
get worn.


Stitchsker- The short, stiff, stubby piece of stitching found on
the inside of a watch strap that pokes and iritates the wrist.


Strapophrenia- Repeated and obsessive changing of watch straps.


Submerciless- Wearing a sport watch to a funeral.


Valjitters- The vibrations felt emanating from a Valjoux 7750 movement.


Zenophobia- The fear of mediocre watches.
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Re: Originally posted at TZ

Postby Falstaff » June 16th 2019, 4:27pm

Very creative. How about "micronesia" - you can't remember how many micro brands you own.
"See the Winter Boys drinking heavy water from a stone - Bye bye Empire, empire bye bye...."
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Re: Originally posted at TZ

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » June 16th 2019, 4:54pm

This can go on and on...

Calatrava Houdini - the act of fleecing ten times the worth of a time-only watch by claiming resemblance to a Patek.

JCB Virus - when a brand starts releasing Hublotesque shit.

Macaronisis - a mental illness; the affected tries to invent Italian nicknames for watches. Usually doesn't speak Italian, and pronounces said nicknames like Lt. Aldo "The Apache" Raine from Inglorious Basterds.

Donkey Gonzo - an Instagram "photographer" desperately trying to take pictures like the ones featured at the Donkeys. Usually these feature a marble table as a background, occasionally a passport and sunglasses.

eBay Raccoon - a hoarder buying "bargain lots" by the ton, usually Bombay Specials and FUBAR pin-levers. A hair short of raiding bins for broken watches that he wouldn't fix anyway.

Overwinder - the "forum expert" diagnosing every broken watch as "overwound." Knows fuck-all.

Whorologist - a cross-breed between a hominid and a mongoloid. Pretends to be a scholar in watches. Knows fuck-all.
His deepest need was that people should like him. An admirable trait, that... In a spaniel, or a whore.
Francis Urquhart

I'd send them all an animated gif of Ron Jeremy sucking his own cock.
Conjurer, of people asking about their Doxas
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Re: Originally posted at TZ

Postby biglove » June 16th 2019, 4:59pm

Nice. Couple of good giggles had.
"There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever."- Ron White
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