7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby koimaster » October 26th 2018, 3:17pm

In today’s video I continue my mission to elevate everyone’s watch game by addressing the top 7 mistakes people make when it comes to their personal watch style. I discuss why Hollywood actors Ryan Gosling and Idris Elba get is so right with their Rolex and Casio watches.

I also share an exciting new cure for the debilitating problem of watch snobbery. This proprietary formula was developed by and is available exclusively at the Urban Gentry, so join me today to find out more!



In response to this fool I have a suggestion for watch snobbery, buy something other than an invicta and shut your fucking hole.



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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » October 26th 2018, 7:27pm

You can feel completely free to disagree with me

Why, ya pish-posh boyo, you don't need to tell me that. And even if you wouldn't have said so, I'd exercise this sacred right of mine anyway. If necessary, obviously.

...they shouldn't overhang the extremities of your wrist.

That's true.

Bad strap choices.

I won't disagree with that.

...a fluorescent NATO, it's fun, it's lively...

No, it's so unbelievably fucking ghey, that it makes Elton John look straight.

Being close-minded and not trying new things

I tried the hottest Buffalo wings at a Tex-Mex joint, because since I never did, it was new to me, and it burned me at both ends. That's not necessarily good advice.

It's so boring, when I see the same collection of Submariner, Speedy, Navitimer...

Oh, fuck off. Maybe that's what's new to someone, because they have previously collected, dunno, Ruhla pin-levers?

There's more to this world than SKXs, Speedmasters...

Of course there is. You want a fucking Nobel Prize for having discovered that just now?

Your perception's going to change

After getting heavily jaked on the yacht in Montenegro, I felt like the booze had me travel into another dimension, where I couldn't hear the neckbeards aboard HMS Witless, does that count as a change in perception?

Get out there, experience as much as you can...

LSD and the wild thing with three hookers at once, here I come!

...I wore this to a meeting, because I wanted to start a conversation...

Have you tried starting a conversation with a "hello?" While a Spaceview is a lovely watch, I'm not sure as to how shoving it right in someone's face is in any way superior to a casual greeting.

Wearing watches that are too flashy

Why, I think that's not a mistake. If you're wearing an Invicter Bolt Zeus, you send a universally recognizable signal to all sentient beings around, that they won't hear anything interesting from you. This way, you'll spare them the time they would otherwise have wasted on trying to socialize with you.

It tends to make the wearer look...

...ghey?

Being rude to other enthusiasts

It may well be, that it costs nothing to be polite. But who on Earth would spend even what's free on an Invictard, or some other Watchgeek?

There is no need to be a dick about another person's watch choice

When I'm talking someone out of an Invicter, I will pour a pot of slop over Invicter, for the poor sod's own good. That's more like saving souls than being a dick, no?

Never allow anybody's negativity to affect...

Looks like the fellow's channeling Bazinga!
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last.
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A man's got to know his limitations...
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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby conjurer » October 26th 2018, 7:45pm

Well done indeed, Mr. Bloke, you crazy fuck.
I checked you out, and I now want you to take the journey to lick my taint. It's small, but vast.


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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby bedlam » October 26th 2018, 8:07pm

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:
It's so boring, when I see the same collection of Submariner, Speedy, Navitimer...

Oh, fuck off. Maybe that's what's new to someone, because they have previously collected, dunno, Ruhla pin-levers?

I agree to some degree with him on this.

I accept there is nothing wrong with any of those watches, all certainly have historic significance, but the amount of space they take up in people's thinking about watches is inordinate. They have become a bore, through no fault of their own.
"If I could put a finger on the moment we genuinely fucked ourselves, it was the moment we decided that data was something you could use words like believe or disbelieve around...

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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby JAS1125 » October 27th 2018, 4:14am

I've seen worse watch videos...the Invicter gag was good
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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby Pubbie » October 27th 2018, 8:32am

I have to say I am with Bedlam on this one. When someone pops up with a collection consisting of a Sub, Speedy Pro and a G-Shock I instantly switch off. Like being cornered by someone at a party who says he’s a petrolhead because he’s got a 320d M Sport - and doesn’t understand the irony. Am much more interested in a whole album, not a greatest-hits EP:)
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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » October 27th 2018, 11:43am

Pubbie wrote:I have to say I am with Bedlam on this one. When someone pops up with a collection consisting of a Sub, Speedy Pro and a G-Shock I instantly switch off. Like being cornered by someone at a party who says he’s a petrolhead because he’s got a 320d M Sport - and doesn’t understand the irony. Am much more interested in a whole album, not a greatest-hits EP:)

Consisting of these, OK. However, I can see nothing wrong with a collection including some of the "usual suspects." The 320d sucks cock - the 3-series might not be big, but 2 litres in diesel is just too fucking weak for it. Indeed, someone saying he's a petrolhead while driving a diesel sounds rather odd.
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last.
Winston Churchill

A man's got to know his limitations...
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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby 3Flushes » October 27th 2018, 3:06pm

Iconic brands are iconic for good reason. Collecting to the exclusion of anything credibly collectible is ridickless unless that's how you wanna do it; fuck policies and procedures.

Of course I'm being sarcastic- I don't really like this guy, although, everything other than this guy on his channel is pretty good. OK- the little, uh, skit, I guess, stunk, and he is pretty much dude gentry channel repellent but everything but him is pretty good- the production values- video quality / sound / camera work- I like his office / studio / bedroom/kitchen / ---it's like lookin' at freakin' freud's office- lots'a fetish objects and shit to look at- an occasional cool or shiny object to behold- word tot he wise- turn down the volume if you decide to look around. Yous know, Freud had a lotta shit to look at while his patients went on and on about their bullshit- and he'd look at his shit and work on a play or something on his pad and throw in an occasional mm-hmm, I see- go on, mm-hmmm, ok, we're going to need to stop- so you know, with the gentry guy persé- but I gotta say

with the attachémōn already!!!
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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby bedlam » October 27th 2018, 10:22pm

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:
Pubbie wrote:I have to say I am with Bedlam on this one. When someone pops up with a collection consisting of a Sub, Speedy Pro and a G-Shock I instantly switch off. Like being cornered by someone at a party who says he’s a petrolhead because he’s got a 320d M Sport - and doesn’t understand the irony. Am much more interested in a whole album, not a greatest-hits EP:)

Consisting of these, OK. However, I can see nothing wrong with a collection including some of the "usual suspects.

It goes the other way in some forums, where if you don't have a Sub and Speedie it's assumed that is a gap in your collection and you must really be hanging out to get them. Certainly, they can't fathom that you don't necessarily find either of them very compelling.

I prefer the aesthetics of my Bulova Moonwatch chrono to a Speedie, and I prefer my GS Diver to a Sub in every regard.
"If I could put a finger on the moment we genuinely fucked ourselves, it was the moment we decided that data was something you could use words like believe or disbelieve around...

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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby smellody » October 27th 2018, 10:47pm

I've got rhythm, I've got rhymes. I've got the girlies with the def behinds.

Planks.
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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby biglove » October 28th 2018, 8:36am

Started watching the video to catch a look at all his stuff in his office. Had to stop. CLEAN THAT SHIT UP YOU HOARDING FREAKAZOID.

Talk about lack of taste. And imagine the bazillions of dust bunnies on and in all that crap. GAG!
"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."- Mark Twain

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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby Pubbie » October 28th 2018, 3:27pm

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:Consisting of these, OK. However, I can see nothing wrong with a collection including some of the "usual suspects." The 320d sucks cock - the 3-series might not be big, but 2 litres in diesel is just too fucking weak for it. Indeed, someone saying he's a petrolhead while driving a diesel sounds rather odd.

Yup. Mix it up a little. I’ll never own a Sub Speedy Pro-Shock but I briefly used to have a nice Sea-Dweller that made me a little cash when I re-sold it, and I get stiff at the idea of a First Omega In Space. But only that one really.
Last edited by Pubbie on October 29th 2018, 6:03am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby TemerityB » October 28th 2018, 3:46pm

The only actual rule of this hobby is that there ain't no rules. Love what you want, hate what you will, it's all good. There should be one other rule: Never listen to some goof in his mom's basement who makes YouTube videos. And it someone told me I had "style" like "The Urban Gentry," I'd fling myself into a leaf mulcher.
Proof that quartz is still not only viable, but sometimes, something to covet: Grand Seiko.
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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby Racer-X » October 28th 2018, 3:52pm

TemerityB wrote:The only actual rule of this hobby is that there ain't no rules. Love what you want, hate what you will, it's all good.


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Re: 7 Mistakes That KILL Your Watch Style

Postby ocean » October 28th 2018, 4:22pm

There are no rules but guidelines.

1st know what the fuck you’re buying.
2nd don’t try to convince me that you’re fucking price of shit is better than Rolex, Seiko or any other reputable company! It just isn’t
3rd you pay to play
To disarm the people is the best and most effective way to enslave them. George Mason
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