Latest Hodinkee edition - A New Movement For 2018

Latest Hodinkee edition - A New Movement For 2018

Postby Pubbie » December 4th 2017, 7:03am

Some people, instead of working at a job like most of us, merely log onto the internet every day in between their champagne and swan canapés and peasant-shooting excursions, and spend many of their waking hours on luxury websites. One such website is Hodinkee, which is run by some sophisticated people who like luxury, and love to talk about it and what it means to them. They invite other rich men to talk about luxury, and post pictures of their products for the benefit of the poor.

Hodinkee sells luxury products to other rich men who then write about those luxury products on their, well, luxury product website. Any luxury product made available for sale is instantly sold out; it doesn't matter what it is. MB&F? Sure thing. Nomos? Well, that goes without saying. TAG Heuer? Why not! The same men who Slag Tag (tm) instantly buy the Carrera Skipper, a cynical knock-off using a 15-year old case design, standard movement and a Play School dial. Six grand, baby! Hand it over, it says HODINKEE on it. And then, a Hodinkee Swatch, a System 51 disposable thing with AnyDial from AnyWatch made by AnyBrand. Now System 51s are generally disliked by Hodinkee and its sophisticated pilgrims, but! Double the price of Swatch's regular System 51 stocking-filler, and sold out in a microsecond.

And now, a pre-Christmas peek at the next exciting unveiling. A Hodinkee co-sponsored dog turd, freshly pushed out onto the road outside the service entrance to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in Central Park this morning at 6.45. Coiled, steaming and thoroughly vegetal, this pile of worthless ordure - limited edition of one, technically speaking - has now been lovingly photographed for the Hodinkee site, and having been shovelled into a little bag and put in the Hodinkee freezer, now enjoys a rapidly patinating and unique dark bronze finish, and an excellent movement. In fact, it IS an excellent movement.

Of course, I'm joking.

Hodinkee would never co-opt Swatch to make a special System 51, that's absolutely ridiculous.
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Re: Latest Hodinkee edition - A New Movement For 2018

Postby gerdson » December 4th 2017, 9:07am

Peasant shooting - that's hilarious.
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Re: Latest Hodinkee edition - A New Movement For 2018

Postby conjurer » December 4th 2017, 10:40am

TMMLH. are a ray of sunshine here.

--pacerguy, tonguing Jawbone's distended ballsack, at WITless.

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Re: Latest Hodinkee edition - A New Movement For 2018

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » December 4th 2017, 12:31pm

Brilliant rant, mate.

Dog shit - $0.00

iDogshit - $500

Designer DogShit by Shep the Border Collie Limited Edition for HODINKEE, in an Unobtainium DogShit presentation case by Marc Newson, inspired by the Royal Oak bezel - $12 000
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Re: Latest Hodinkee edition - A New Movement For 2018

Postby Falstaff » December 4th 2017, 2:04pm

My dear fellow, pheasant shoots keep any number of gamekeepers, beaters, gun bearers and kennelmen gainfully employed - sturdy examples of the yeomanry who would otherwise be on the dole. I need hardly mention that the entire shooting brake industry as well as the bespoke gun trade would collapse were it not for various shoots. Keeping HM's economy alfloat is a trying business and I'm sure you would not seriously begrudge those of us who do so our cygnet dainties and a sip of champers.
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"Kill them all then, colonel. I would not have them be brave in the Devil's service!"

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Re: Latest Hodinkee edition - A New Movement For 2018

Postby TemerityB » December 4th 2017, 2:25pm

Diggin' the bile. Keep it coming, by all means; we haven't had many righteous de-pantsings of watch companies of late. It's time we got back to our charter - cutting through all the BS. Well done!
A tale of six Seikos (two Kinetics, two autos, two Solar): FIVE of them have disintegrated, three while being stored. Please, explain to me that whole "bang for the buck" thing again.
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