Heuer Less than Zero 80s

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Heuer Less than Zero 80s

Postby tiktok » September 7th 2017, 7:13pm

When I was young and fresh out of school and ensconced in Little Italy, NYC, USA I decided that when I grew up I wanted to be like all the local kids. Mostly they wore leisure suits, sunglasses and spent a lot of time lurking in front of social clubs, holding court in dark, wood laden bars and making and taking lots of phone calls via two pay phones on Carmine St (see Pope of Greenwich Village), one at Leroy and the other by the pizza shop down the block.

Regardless of statutes I am not proud of how I made a living and spent some squirrelly years on the periphery of life, with the emphasis on not life. Anyway one afternoon I'm laying out some powder with my best friend, an Australian rock musician whose reputation needs no more embellishment outside of Tiger Beat.

My friend needed to go to the Australian embassy for some paperwork so we found ourselves in midtown, an area so dynamically different than downtown that it was like going to Disneyland on Ice. So we're window shopping and we find ourselves looking into a watch store, I want to say it was Tourneau but I know nothing about the commercial history of NY horology. Anyway we start looking around and I find this Heuer diver I'm trying on. My friend is on the opposite end of a four corner display set up with the sales person in the middle. Well as quick as I can say Joey Bats I'll be damned if I haven't purchased the watch. I knew nothing in those days excerpt to speak in a lot of languages and how to recognize a fake bill. Real bills would light if you struck a safety match to them. All I can remember was it was a Heuer 3 hander and it matched my black leather pants.

So meanwhile my friend has schmoozed it up with this other guy who bought some other watch and next thing I know he has invited us to his condo on the upper East Side and everything is glowing and humming as we ride the Peruvian rocket ship to his place.

When we get there the guy is like on the fortieth floor of this personality-less high rise and we are seated at this vast table getting wasted and talking about stupidity, something I was an advanced student in.

So next the guy is telling us how his family is in the meat packing industry which is like saying he's connected. And then next again he's pulling this ample packet of off white powder out of his jacket and laying it out on the table. "Dope," he says between inhalations. Now dope was the opposite of making NY whoppee. Not something on Liza's shopping list. I had always stayed away from it because it was addicting (like Dewars and blow were every day fare like Necco wafers) but most junkies were from a less glamorous state of being and stood in lines that went around the block waiting to score their daily. But in my loosened state of unconsciousness I felt compelled to ask to try it. I remember to this day him looking up at me and saying in a stern voice, "I never share my dope " which is probably one of the only good things that happened there.

My life changed pretty radically soon after and that's another blip on the human radar...and a good blip it was. I grew out of my gangster wannabe and started building night clubs that I made a point of staying away from.

I have one other mob related story. My friend owned a restaurant in the same neighborhood and when he left town the keys were in my pants, I ran the circus. This very nice older gentleman, "Bruce" came in most nights and dropped a twenty on a single glass of red. So one night in my reformed shroud I'm watching the news at eleven and the news is doing a story about Vincent "the chin" Gigante, probably the city's top godfather. He used to walk around the neighborhood in a bath robe and slippers and the Feds couldn't nail him cause he kept pleading loco until that shit bag Fiuliani twisted the RICO laws into a pretzel and put him away finally. So I'm watching the news and they are saying "Here's Gigante with his bodyguard and lo and behold it was my red wine drinker, Bruce.

I'd like to say those were the good old days but they weren't, there were lots of bad things happening to people around me and to myself and at some point every day I wax all gooey spiritual in thanks that I survived and that the people in my life today are more substantial and do good things for the world.

Funny, that's all I remember about my first watch.
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Re: Heuer Less than Zero 80s

Postby Falstaff » September 8th 2017, 8:04am

Heuer 1000 in Black Coral?
"Come and take them!"
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Re: Heuer Less than Zero 80s

Postby biglove » September 8th 2017, 8:33am

No shit? Sounds like a script to a good gangster movie.
"Adults are obsolete children."-Dr. Seuss
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Re: Heuer Less than Zero 80s

Postby conjurer » September 8th 2017, 4:22pm

Goddamn, it's gonna be hard to top that story.
Johannes! My knees are trembling from banging her so hard with my rod!

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Re: Heuer Less than Zero 80s

Postby artman » September 8th 2017, 5:23pm

Hard to tell what's real and what's fiction. Really cool read though. If it's all real then dayam! What a ride.
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Re: Heuer Less than Zero 80s

Postby tiktok » September 8th 2017, 6:17pm

The fuzziness of the story is simply a reflection of my mush brain. All is true if not exact in details. Many dark tales in the city.
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