I Hate Tapered Straps

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I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby tiktok » September 6th 2017, 3:14pm

Most of my watches are not dress watches and unless they are on a bracelet I really dislike tapered straps. The only exception is big honkers like Panerai so they don't look like my Vestal leather cuff. The watch on the left, the Damasko, tapers from 20 to 18mmm and for some reason I hate looking at the strap when the ends don't align, on thin formal straps I have no problem, but on normal watches it looks lumpy. Anyone else as OCD as me on this one?

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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby artman » September 6th 2017, 3:21pm

Yeah it sucks. A couple of my smaller Seiko 5's require 18mm straps, but the ones that I can find locally taper to 16mm.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby tiktok » September 6th 2017, 3:37pm

It's a drag cause this is a limited edition and they really splurged on the strap quality. Amazing suede with rubberized back side.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby jaw » September 6th 2017, 4:15pm

Depends on the watch. They do help to make a smaller watch appear larger. I use non-tapered to do the opposite for big watches.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby Racer-X » September 6th 2017, 4:25pm

I don't mind a taper on dress or rally, but not on a vintage or strap for a larger watch. They can keep those massive Pre-V buckles, good grief.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby foghorn » September 6th 2017, 4:27pm

I share your disdain.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby conjurer » September 6th 2017, 4:41pm

I never thought about it until now, but now it's really fucking bugging me.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby kevco » September 7th 2017, 6:57am

conjurer wrote:I never thought about it until now, but now it's really fucking bugging me.



John you are one funny man.. :) :-o
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby Falstaff » September 7th 2017, 8:09am

I don't mind a taper on a strap - as long as it's no more than 2mm.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » September 7th 2017, 11:02am

Falstaff wrote:I don't mind a taper on a strap - as long as it's no more than 2mm.

Most straps taper by 2mm - 20/18, 18/16, 16/14...

As to the issue of tapered straps as such - I actually prefer them to non-tapered ones. Same goes for bracelets, although even if I ever hit the jackpot and buy a vintage Rolex or Tudor, I probably wouldn't have a preference in terms of straight, rivet Oyster bracelet vs. the tapered one. Same would go for Omega bracelets - I find the ref.1039 and the 1171 equally nice.

In case of a vintage watch, which is usually sporting a diameter of 28 to 38mm, the tapered strap seems somewhat more understated, and somewhat more in the style of the period, as most straps back then were tapered... Maybe save for canvas and padded ones, these are hardly ever tapered, and hardly ever were they.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby gerdson » September 8th 2017, 12:05am

Guys, when the watch is on the wrist, it is barely noticeable. But other than that, I hate them, too.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby Mortuus » September 8th 2017, 2:41am

I personally don't think it's an OCD issue as much as I believe that it's a very early sign of latent schizophrenia with an ongoing display of paranoic behavior that began with you Bar Mitzvah, when your sister, Zelda, took your mink yarmulke and mailed to a strange family in the Palestinian side of the City of Jerusalem, where it was accidently lost and mailed to a street that didn't really exist. An old man, a Sephardic Jew who viscerally hated Ashkenazi Jews, but who loved walking along roads and streets that didn't really exist, picked up the mink beanie, and, thinking it was a divot, he showed it to a police officer, who asked him, "Say, isn't that a divot?" "I dunno," said the old man, "but I think I'll bring it home to my wife of fifty years, Ruby, and tell her I bought it as a replacement muff, so that we can start slappin' bodies again, but first I gotta buy some Tone Lōc CD's to get her in the mood. So the old guy gets hit by a bus, and the mink yarmulke flies up in the sky and gets caught by the wind, which blows it to the nearby balcony at the home of Schlomo Rubenstein-Tadakumo, a refugee Jew from Osaka, who was deported for selling kosher burgers made from counterfeit Kobe beef. His six year-old daughter caught the thing and, after turning it over and over in her hands, decided that it was something she should show to her dad, but by the time she remembered to show it to him, he's had so much Manischewitz concord grape sake, that he thinks it's a tribble -- of Star Trek fame -- and he pulls out his uncle Sol's Samurai sword and attempts to kill it. His wife and daughter start screaming at him to stop, but he is himself suffering unsolved rage issues stemming from his father hiring a mohel who had bad DT's from quitting alcohol cold turkey, and the resultant forked head appearance of his penis that scared off every girl in Nakasaki Prefecture, until one day, when he met his beloved Nell, who was so inexperienced that she thought a penis actually had a bone in it, so the split-head thing meant nothing to her; they were very happy in their simple life, feeding the cows and milking the chickens everyday on their small farm. They also sold green eggs and ham, but it was such a bitch getting people to TRY it that they gave up and moved on to selling record album-thin pancakes, which the locals in Nakasaki called, "Shegusi kamato maru kasha," which when translated to English means, "FUCK, but these are THIN pancakes!" So then the police arrive and take the mink yarmulke and the Samurai into evidence, and the senior cop says, "Hanno, Shigettay annuh meetuh bolluh, kaso, tesu magoo," which translates into "Book 'im, Dan-O, murder ONE!" So they did, even though no one was killed. And the judge, wanting to make an egg-sample of this case, ordered that the Samurai sword be executed, the defendant sent back to his original owner, and the mink yarmulke sent to the Samurai Museum in Quantico, VA. Well, the Marines in Quantico had no use for something as stupid as hair, for cripes sake, so they threw it in the trash where, years later, it made its way through several landfills, a Hair Club For Men franchise and a Taco Bell, where the manager made the yarmulke work off the cost of the two burrito supremes it ate without paying, and the little mink fellow moved along before the T-Bell manager tried to set it up with his homely daughter, who had a wart with three long hairs growing out of it on her nose, and all the Chinese suitors a girl could ever want, but she didn't want ANY. So, finally, the poor little mink yarmulke made his way up the steps of the palatial tiktok estate, rang the bell, and collapsed. Mr. tik answered the door, and immediately recognized his old Bar Mitzvah yarmulke. He picked it up, then ran to the bedroom to show it to his wife. Upon seeing it, she grew furious, and slapped him hard across his poor phiz. "You BASTARD!" she yelled, "How dare you bring me a replacement muff when I'm only 24 years old?! I'm going home to mama!" which is what she did, packing her bags and huffing out the door. And that's how Mr. tik learned a very difficult lesson: never-never-never try to use your mink yarmulke to hide your bald spot from the rebbe on your big day... THE END.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby foghorn » September 8th 2017, 4:52am

^^^^^^

Dingus Fingus!!

Brilliant.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby conjurer » September 8th 2017, 5:29am

Fuck, Mort. That was a beautiful fucking story.
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby biglove » September 8th 2017, 6:21am

"selling record album-thin pancakes, which the locals in Nakasaki called, "Shegusi kamato maru kasha," which when translated to English means, "FUCK, but these are THIN pancakes!"

Best line in the story!

Absolutely brilliant, Mort. That medical marijuana pizza is some wicked good stuff?
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby Falstaff » September 8th 2017, 8:00am

Epic - and highlights the sadly neglected (in these days of waxing) merkin!
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Re: I Hate Tapered Straps

Postby tiktok » September 8th 2017, 11:28am

Mort is brilliant cray cray.
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