Micro Brands In Turbulent Times

Micro-Brands discussed here

Micro Brands In Turbulent Times

Postby koimaster » December 1st 2016, 11:32pm

These are turbulent times for watch brands. Breitling and Maurice Lacroix are up for sale, Technotime, and Pequignet were forced to close their doors, and ETA is raising prices because quite a few brands canceled their orders for next year. Depressing news in general, but especially when you just invested your hard earned money in finally founding your very own microbrand. Time to worry? Yes and no. I would be lying if I said that this was the best time to start your own microbrand, but I believe it is not the worst time either. As a micro brand you have some advantages that larger and more established brands don’t have, and when you flex those muscles with some sense, you might get far.

http://www.watchisthis.com/weather-stor ... ent-times/
Image

1946-2006

“Your heart was warm and happy

With the lilt of Irish laughter

Every day and in every way

Now forever and ever after."
User avatar
koimaster
Administrator/Founder
 
Posts: 32126
Joined: December 16th 2009, 11:00pm
Location: Oregon

Re: Micro Brands In Turbulent Times

Postby conjurer » December 2nd 2016, 12:40am

How to start a microbrand:

1. Have your nephew, who knows how to use image softwear, whip up some bullshit 2D renderings of a dive watch. Make sure if might actually be possible to manufacture order the cases and bracelets and shit from a Hong Kong catalogue house.

2. Come up with a cool name. Naturally, since it's going to be a dive watch, make sure you call your company something vaguely nautical, like "Davy Jone's Locker", or "Edmund Fitzgerald." If you're Eurotrash, make sure you make up a name that sounds really fucking stupid to Anglophone ears, like "Smegma Driver," or "Prolapsed Anus". If you can't think of a good name, just put an X at the end of your name.

3. Join at WUS and start whipping up the members there. This will actually be the hardest part; post some renderings there, ask for input from the members, ignore it, actually bother to answer PMs, and act like you really give a shit. In other words, pretend you're Seiko.

4. Get quotes from the cheapest Hong Kong catalogue houses. Pretend you're going to use ETA 2824s on WUS, but contact Miyota and find out how much two hundred 9015s will cost you--or more exactly, how much they'll cost your customers.

5. Open up for preorders. Fifty percent down, no refunds, no set date of delivery. Change your demeanor on WUS, start acting with Olympian disdain. The members don't like 50% down? Fuck you, I'm trying to feed my kids here. Blow me if you don't like it. Relax as the money starts to roll in.

6. Place orders through HK vendors. Start coming up with excuses when the orders arrive late. Take a week for yourself and watch a lot of Xhamster videos, and tell all the marks at WUS that you're at Baselworld, even though its February.

7. Start delivering the watches, about eight months late. More money rolls in. Send a few freebies to REL Adams and other shills; start answering PMs at WUS again. Most of the reviews will be fawning. Pretend like you care that your customers are happy. If you get a lukewarm review, threaten to knock the reviewer's teeth out.

I hope this helps all the microbrands-to-be out a little!
Johannes! My knees are trembling from banging her so hard with my rod!

Image
User avatar
conjurer
ASSHAT & Master of Time
 
Posts: 24490
Joined: July 13th 2010, 10:00pm

Re: Micro Brands In Turbulent Times

Postby jason_recliner » December 2nd 2016, 2:28am

conjurer wrote:How to start a microbrand:

1. Have your nephew, who knows how to use image softwear, whip up some bullshit 2D renderings of a dive watch. Make sure if might actually be possible to manufacture order the cases and bracelets and shit from a Hong Kong catalogue house.

2. Come up with a cool name. Naturally, since it's going to be a dive watch, make sure you call your company something vaguely nautical, like "Davy Jone's Locker", or "Edmund Fitzgerald." If you're Eurotrash, make sure you make up a name that sounds really fucking stupid to Anglophone ears, like "Smegma Driver," or "Prolapsed Anus". If you can't think of a good name, just put an X at the end of your name.

3. Join at WUS and start whipping up the members there. This will actually be the hardest part; post some renderings there, ask for input from the members, ignore it, actually bother to answer PMs, and act like you really give a shit. In other words, pretend you're Seiko.

4. Get quotes from the cheapest Hong Kong catalogue houses. Pretend you're going to use ETA 2824s on WUS, but contact Miyota and find out how much two hundred 9015s will cost you--or more exactly, how much they'll cost your customers.

5. Open up for preorders. Fifty percent down, no refunds, no set date of delivery. Change your demeanor on WUS, start acting with Olympian disdain. The members don't like 50% down? Fuck you, I'm trying to feed my kids here. Blow me if you don't like it. Relax as the money starts to roll in.

6. Place orders through HK vendors. Start coming up with excuses when the orders arrive late. Take a week for yourself and watch a lot of Xhamster videos, and tell all the marks at WUS that you're at Baselworld, even though its February.

7. Start delivering the watches, about eight months late. More money rolls in. Send a few freebies to REL Adams and other shills; start answering PMs at WUS again. Most of the reviews will be fawning. Pretend like you care that your customers are happy. If you get a lukewarm review, threaten to knock the reviewer's teeth out.

I hope this helps all the microbrands-to-be out a little!


Gold!
Copyright Reclinervision 2020 Productions. All rights reserved.

If it thinks, it stinks
User avatar
jason_recliner
ASSHAT
 
Posts: 7295
Joined: September 17th 2011, 10:00pm

Re: Micro Brands In Turbulent Times

Postby foghorn » December 2nd 2016, 6:36am

Yew NayElD it Cobblegers!!! Rite oN!! :peeece:
GET OFF MY LAWN
Image

Finding out the time is about as difficult as finding a cheesburger.
boneyguy, Sep 12, 2007 #12
User avatar
foghorn
Founding Member
 
Posts: 15269
Joined: December 18th 2009, 11:00pm

Re: Micro Brands In Turbulent Times

Postby codguy » December 2nd 2016, 6:55am

conjurer wrote:How to start a microbrand:



:bvbvbv:
.

Image
User avatar
codguy
ASSHAT
 
Posts: 4999
Joined: June 9th 2011, 10:00pm

Re: Micro Brands In Turbulent Times

Postby hcharles » December 2nd 2016, 8:31am

Brilliant! :Thumbsup:
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine. Abraham lincoln
User avatar
hcharles
Watchlord WIS
 
Posts: 2573
Joined: March 4th 2012, 11:00pm
Location: Snake River Valley

Re: Micro Brands In Turbulent Times

Postby TemerityB » December 2nd 2016, 8:42am

conjurer wrote:How to start a microbrand:



There is no doubt in my mind that this should be a primer, published in such a tome as WatchTime Magazine or Ariel Bender Adams' blog or whatnot.

It won't happen, of course. You obviously can't publish "business secrets" - just ask Wiley Lowe.
"To really be a watch company, you have to make your own watch with your own movement. Otherwise, you're a casing company." - Roland Murphy
User avatar
TemerityB
ASSHAT
 
Posts: 13060
Joined: June 12th 2010, 10:00pm
Location: New York City


Return to Micro-Brands

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest