New player in the dumbest bezel game

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New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby bedlam » January 5th 2018, 6:24pm

The title has finally be taken from CW with this stupidity...

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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » January 5th 2018, 6:43pm

Well, it's Franck Muller - with a watch that looks borderline acceptable and not quite as revolting as all their gaudy tourbillons, they had to fuck something up, so that it doesn't turn out too good.
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby bedlam » January 5th 2018, 6:56pm

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:Well, it's Franck Muller - with a watch that looks borderline acceptable and not quite as revolting as all their gaudy tourbillons, they had to fuck something up, so that it doesn't turn out too good.

The watch looks pretty decent otherwise.

I just don't understand the obssession Swiss watch makers have with the first 15-20 mins on dive bezels. It's like they see it as some special thing and it leads them to all manner of stupid choices.

The former dumb bezel king is an example;

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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby Mortuus » January 5th 2018, 7:32pm

I think most Russkie bezels would easily qualify for the semifinals...dots and lines...lines and dots? Fwock, who nose? :???: 8-) :lol:
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby bedlam » January 5th 2018, 7:44pm

Mortuus wrote:I think most Russkie bezels would easily qualify for the semifinals...dots and lines...lines and dots? Fwock, who nose? :???: 8-) :lol:

The Vostok bezels are an issue, its true
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » January 5th 2018, 7:49pm

bedlam wrote:
MKTheVintageBloke wrote:Well, it's Franck Muller - with a watch that looks borderline acceptable and not quite as revolting as all their gaudy tourbillons, they had to fuck something up, so that it doesn't turn out too good.

The watch looks pretty decent otherwise.

I just don't understand the obssession Swiss watch makers have with the first 15-20 mins on dive bezels. It's like they see it as some special thing and it leads them to all manner of stupid choices.

The former dumb bezel king is an example;

Image

Yes, it doesn't look bad (by FM standards, quite good, actually)- I just have a hard time ignoring the eye-raping lime green markers on the bezel.

The bezel on the CW is quite idiotic indeed. Because it tries to be an ordinary diver bezel and a GMT bezel at the same time, it's useless for timing and as a GMT alike.

Concerning the obsession with the first 15 minutes, I'm not quite certain if it isn't Rolex who started that trend, as that feature was used on 1950s Submariners (certainly on the 6538).
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby smellody » January 5th 2018, 8:28pm

bedlam wrote:The title has finally be taken from CW with this stupidity...

Image


WOW!!!!
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby bedlam » January 5th 2018, 8:57pm

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:
bedlam wrote:
MKTheVintageBloke wrote:Well, it's Franck Muller - with a watch that looks borderline acceptable and not quite as revolting as all their gaudy tourbillons, they had to fuck something up, so that it doesn't turn out too good.

The watch looks pretty decent otherwise.

I just don't understand the obssession Swiss watch makers have with the first 15-20 mins on dive bezels. It's like they see it as some special thing and it leads them to all manner of stupid choices.

The former dumb bezel king is an example;

Yes, it doesn't look bad (by FM standards, quite good, actually)- I just have a hard time ignoring the eye-raping lime green markers on the bezel.

The bezel on the CW is quite idiotic indeed. Because it tries to be an ordinary diver bezel and a GMT bezel at the same time, it's useless for timing and as a GMT alike.

Concerning the obsession with the first 15 minutes, I'm not quite certain if it isn't Rolex who started that trend, as that feature was used on 1950s Submariners (certainly on the 6538).

Yeah, the 'Rolex' style bezel made sense for how they dived at the time and it makes sense that the Submariner has retained it as part of it's iconic style.

Regardless, Rolex upgraded the bezel on their Sea Dweller to modern ISO requirements, yet so many watch makers copy the Sub style and add stupid WR ratings and helium escape valves. They seem completely lost about what the watch is meant to do. For me the bezel is the main tell as to what the maker's goals were - to make a dive watch or diver styled sports watch.

Why FM thinks this bezel design is a good idea is beyond me though, I have no idea what they were thinking.
Last edited by bedlam on January 6th 2018, 8:38am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » January 5th 2018, 9:30pm

bedlam wrote:Yeah, the 'Rolex' style bezel made sense for how they dived at the time and it makes sense that the Submariner has retained it as part of it's iconic style.

Regardless, Rolex upgraded the bezel on their Sea Dweller to modern ISO requirements, yet so many watch makers copy the Sub style and add stupid WR ratings and helium escape valves. They seem completely lost about what the watch is meant to do. For me the bezel is the main tell as to what the maker's goals were - to make a dive watch or diver styled sports watch.

Why FM thinks this bezel design is a good idea is beyond me though, I have no idea what they were thinking.

If a watch wasn't intended to really be used for certain purposes, you can be sure it's merely marketing.

I, for one, would find a bezel with detailed 15 minute markers useful in the kitchen, as an auxiliary timer (I mostly use my quartz Swatch there) when I'm doing some Asian-style pork of my own design - I need to time the meat, then the rice, the vegetables... Oh, by the way, I perfected that recipe, if anyone wants to do a test of it on themselves, feel free to ask for the recipe.

The silly WR ratings? It's like with all the hypercars, like Bugatti Veyron. There is merely one place on Earth - the VW Group's test track in Germany, with the longest straight on any track - where it can do well over 400 km/h. Only the place is guarded like Fort Knox, and so, obviously closed to the public. It won't go 400 at Bonneville, it's too short with that sort of ground. Saline flats in South Africa, maybe, but will a German owner really ship his car there for the purpose of taking it for just one spin?
There is no practical application for such things, not a logical one. It's just so that the owner feels like the king of the hill, because his watch/car/whatever can do what he never possibly could. So, in the end, it's something of a mental penis enlargement.

As to helium escape valves, initially they were a safety measure for the watch, or at least Omega thought so. The movie industry got the idea to use it as a facade for a transmitter and detonator fuse in 007's SMP in GoldenEye. Looked cool, then it was another Bond gadget, so I can't blame them for keeping it.
The way I see it, it looks cool, but it's another thing that can go wrong, so I'd rather expect an automatic helium valve to do a better job.

Concerning what has FM been thinking - I think they never really meant the watch to be used for diving (except desk diving, obviously), so they just went into the creative diarrhea mode in the process of designing the bezel.

By the way, I meant to ask about that earlier, Carl - in your opinion, which of the currently produced divers get the bezel right in terms of it being most practical on a dive?
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby bedlam » January 5th 2018, 11:43pm

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:By the way, I meant to ask about that earlier, Carl - in your opinion, which of the currently produced divers get the bezel right in terms of it being most practical on a dive?

Perfect readbility, perfect action/weight, protected from damage and accidental movement; the Tuna SBBN013/15 are king (I think the 17 lacks contrast).

In normal looking dive watches the modern Rolex Sea Dweller, Orient Sat diver and Seiko MM300 are all stand-outs IMO.
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby codguy » January 6th 2018, 7:50am

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And fixed.......
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby bedlam » January 6th 2018, 8:46am

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:I, for one, would find a bezel with detailed 15 minute markers useful in the kitchen

All the minutes should be indexed, not just the first few.

How it should be...

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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby TemerityB » January 6th 2018, 9:36am

bedlam wrote:
MKTheVintageBloke wrote:I, for one, would find a bezel with detailed 15 minute markers useful in the kitchen

All the minutes should be indexed, not just the first few.

How it should be...



Yep. It can be used instead of sworn at. It's like the good folks at FM want you to fuck up in a precarious situation. Nailed it, bed.
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby foghorn » January 6th 2018, 10:38am

As Howie long as he gets the johNnIe B. Goodes on Donild Turmp eyd do'nt know care wut the beezlebub looks lyke!!
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby Pubbie » January 6th 2018, 12:26pm

bedlam wrote:The title has finally be taken from CW with this stupidity...

Image

My, that's an ugly bastard.

This abortion from Hamilton was a contendah a while back:

Image

No minute counter, and you can't use the timing bezel for minutes (relying on the chrono for elapsed seconds and hours, at least) beyond 20. An utter fucking waste of the planet's resources which didn't last long in the market... but much longer than it should have, of course.

I wouldn't be surprised if Hamilton threw all their unsold shit straight into the crusher. Probably a low point for the name-only, badge-engineered, mid-'Noughties horseshit that Swatch was pumping out back then. At least it's a lot better now.
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby bedlam » January 6th 2018, 6:26pm

One step further into uselessness from the Hammy is 'Boldr'

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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » January 6th 2018, 7:19pm

bedlam wrote:One step further into uselessness from the Hammy is 'Boldr'

Image

Well, it's the same sort of useless as the Panerai Submersible, and frankly, if to seek for the culprit behind this bezel design, it's Panerai alright.

bedlam wrote:
MKTheVintageBloke wrote:I, for one, would find a bezel with detailed 15 minute markers useful in the kitchen

All the minutes should be indexed, not just the first few.

How it should be...

Image

In terms of practicality, that's true - I only meant that there's little use for it outside the kitchen. Only the problem is, that - sadly - very few manufacturers ever cared (or care) about indexing all the minutes on the rotating bezel. Given the abundance of manufacturers who stick to the very 1950s design, with only the first 15 minutes indexed, it doesn't really look like that's about to change. Prior to the Sea-Dweller, Rolex only cared to use a bezel with all minutes indexed on one watch, when it was required by the specifications of a particular client, that being the British military. Frankly, it was the case with Omega as well - they didn't use such a bezel until they had some Seamaster 300 watches ordered by the MoD.
It appears that the luxury brands rarely give a fuck - the fully indexed bezels seem to be found mostly on watches, the makers of which have really intended their watches to be used as (not desk) diving tools, e.g. Stowa (in the Prodiver collection, although they do have versions with the useless sort of bezel as well), Sinn...
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby bedlam » January 6th 2018, 8:01pm

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:It appears that the luxury brands rarely give a fuck - the fully indexed bezels seem to be found mostly on watches, the makers of which have really intended their watches to be used as (not desk) diving tools, e.g. Stowa (in the Prodiver collection, although they do have versions with the useless sort of bezel as well), Sinn...

Hence my dive watch vs diver-styled sports watch distinction. Funny how they never sell them as a 'diver-styled sports watch' though ;-)
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby conjurer » January 6th 2018, 8:08pm

bedlam wrote: Funny how they never sell them as a 'diver-styled sports watch' though ;-)


Why? Because that would be fucking ghey if they did, goddamn it! Who the fuck's gonna buy a "diver-styled sports watch"? Some limp-wristed fruit, that's who! Besides, if they called 'em that, we'd bore our non-WIS friends even more, to the point they'd throw themselves out of fucking windows when we walked by, checking the time. "Oh," they'd say, "is that a new dive watch?" And we'd have to fucking say, "no, actually, it's not ISO certified, so it's actually a diver-styled sports watch, because I'm a fucking homo!"
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Re: New player in the dumbest bezel game

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » January 6th 2018, 9:45pm

bedlam wrote:
MKTheVintageBloke wrote:It appears that the luxury brands rarely give a fuck - the fully indexed bezels seem to be found mostly on watches, the makers of which have really intended their watches to be used as (not desk) diving tools, e.g. Stowa (in the Prodiver collection, although they do have versions with the useless sort of bezel as well), Sinn...

Hence my dive watch vs diver-styled sports watch distinction. Funny how they never sell them as a 'diver-styled sports watch' though ;-)

Fair point. It mostly stems from assuming that if it worked well in the 1950s, it will work now. People tend to use the likes of Tudor Pelagos while diving, so, to some extent, it still does work.

conjurer wrote:Why? Because that would be fucking ghey if they did, goddamn it! Who the fuck's gonna buy a "diver-styled sports watch"? Some limp-wristed fruit, that's who! Besides, if they called 'em that, we'd bore our non-WIS friends even more, to the point they'd throw themselves out of fucking windows when we walked by, checking the time. "Oh," they'd say, "is that a new dive watch?" And we'd have to fucking say, "no, actually, it's not ISO certified, so it's actually a diver-styled sports watch, because I'm a fucking homo!"

Good point as well. Besides, their aim is to sell, and ersatzes don't sell well if the real deal isn't quite obsolete.
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