The Admiral needs your prayers

The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby Tzimisces » September 23rd 2015, 6:53pm

Or whatever it is heathens do.

The Admiral is in Postal Limbo. Gerdson sent the package September 12, and the tracking number still yields nothing but a "we have no information on your package" message.
Gerdson has contacted Deutsche Post to investigate.

I still think it's too early to panic, the 12th was a Saturday, so it's only been 8 business days. True, the Japanese can take an order and have it on your doorstep in 5 days, but they are a singular people.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby conjurer » September 23rd 2015, 7:06pm

Eight business days?! Jesus Christ, the krauts took over Belgium faster than that!
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby jason_recliner » September 23rd 2015, 7:14pm

Maybe customs ran a swab test. In which case it's so long, Admiral.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby conjurer » September 23rd 2015, 7:18pm

jason_recliner wrote:Maybe customs ran a swab test. In which case it's so long, Admiral.


Quite so. Tz might start looking for it at the CDC in Atlanta.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby Tzimisces » September 23rd 2015, 7:29pm

conjurer wrote:Eight business days?! Jesus Christ, the krauts took over Belgium faster than that!

That was under a different administration.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby biglove » September 23rd 2015, 7:55pm

Still more info than I have gotten from Steinhart...
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby TemerityB » September 23rd 2015, 8:39pm

"Postal limbo." Uh oh.

That really doesn't sound promising. My fingers are crossed that Spunk eventually finds its way to your door.

Wow, did I enjoy typing that.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby gerdson » September 23rd 2015, 9:57pm

A verdammt embarassing situation. I have filed a request for investigation, but do not have any results yet. Of course the Admiral could also simply be AWOL, not MIA.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby biglove » September 24th 2015, 5:49am

Finally heard back from Steinhart...12 days after my order. They are "packing it."

German efficiency at its best.

What have they done to the Admiral?!
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby Hawk » September 24th 2015, 6:06am

I heard Deutsche Post operates a fleet of Volkswagon diesels.

This may result in minor delays while recall work is completed.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby gerdson » September 24th 2015, 10:19am

Very witty. :mrgreen:
In fact there are rumours of shipments of value "occasionally" getting lost at Frankfurt Aiport. Fuck them.

I will have to make up for the loss, and I am already thinking about something.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby Hawk » September 24th 2015, 10:31am

The good folks running a shoe store in Berlin have conducted an interesting study on packages which go astray in the U.S. based on the packing tape used.

https://www.atheistberlin.com/study

Interesting stuff. I hope you didn't use their packing tape.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby foghorn » September 24th 2015, 10:36am

gerdson wrote:Very witty. :mrgreen:
In fact there are rumours of shipments of value "occasionally" getting lost at Frankfurt Aiport. Fuck them.

I will have to make up for the loss, and I am already thinking about something.



If there is , indeed ,a loss and I think it's a bit premature to declare the Admiral lost at sea, then the Admirals mission is over and still a huge success.
No need to feel any reason to make up for the missions end. Foreign travel is fraught with danger and the Admiral is well aware of the consequences.

Of course anyone is free to send another worthy traveler on his own mission. But as for the original Admiral Spunk, this mission was his and his alone.

Now everyone take a deep breath-the Admiral doesn't need no steenking prayers. If he doesn't make it to Virginia he is hopefully on the wrist of a German postal worker giving him the same nasty that BL got from him.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby ocean » September 24th 2015, 10:58am

Did Admiral Spunk become a rear admiral?
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby gerdson » September 24th 2015, 11:51am

I love You guys, seriously. :D

Let's give this another week. But nonetheless, here is my proposal. Since the original idea was to auction off the good Admiral as part of our ever ongoing welfare program, and since I have never contributed to that yet:

May I introduce to You, Mrs. Fleur d'Anus.
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She is a bit on the heavy side, but not too bad. A 36mm all stainless steel Tissot with an Automatic Movement, that was serviced only few years ago. Mrs. Fleur d'Anus will be shipped to Tzimisces using a more approriate carrier than the fucking German Post, and will stand in for the Admiral, while he is lost in transit. In case he should show up again - so much for the better, then Tzimisces can pass on two watches to the next on the list. Please note that Mrs. Fleur d'Anus speaks German (weekdays) only, despite her name.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby Falstaff » September 24th 2015, 12:20pm

I say we move to Watchlords defcon 2, dispatch the entire High Seas fleet and Aerial Force, not to mention mobilizing the Grand Armee' on high alert, to conduct a thorough search for the Admiral amongst the heathen helles slurping Huns! This may well be an act of terrorism or an attempt at ransom! Time is of the essence! Recall our Ambassador! Let those dunkels downing Heinies see the shadows of the Lords' War Dirigibles looming over their cities and see the heavy guns of the Dreadnoughts of our fleet grinning at them from seaways of their port cities and I suspect we'll straightaway have a telegram from the Admiral stating his imminent arrival. I commend Gerdson for offering a hostage against the Admiral's safe return, but caution him that any espionage activities by this Frau d'Anus on behalf of the Deutsche Post will be dealt with in the severest fashion.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby conjurer » September 24th 2015, 12:24pm

Well done and well said, the lot of you. If--and I say, if--Uhren de Spunkmeier, Rear Admiral of the Brown, was lost in action, then, as foggy says, he did his duty and suffered not--assuming he didn't get pinched by a Lebanese postal worker and ends up being fisted into the rectum of some avant garde, rieve gauche motherfucker.

The Admiral, after all, brought us a little closer together. He's done his duty. All hail foggy and gerdy!
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby Tzimisces » September 24th 2015, 6:21pm

He may have been Shanghaied into the French Foreign Legion, or perhaps he felt the need for some R&R and has disappeared into the seedy underground of Frankfort, and will resurface when he can't pay the hookers anymore.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby Mark1 » September 24th 2015, 7:42pm

There is still some hope. The admiral has not entered the Italian postal system as far as we know.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby tiktok » September 24th 2015, 7:59pm

I just had a strap shipped from Germany in an envelope, no customs form, and it took three weeks to get here and was the wrong color. I'm going to put it up for sale here with the proceeds going to the NYC Humane Society in the next few days.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby conjurer » September 24th 2015, 9:43pm

tiktok wrote:I just had a strap shipped from Germany in an envelope, no customs form, and it took three weeks to get here and was the wrong color. I'm going to put it up for sale here with the proceeds going to the NYC Humane Society in the next few days.


That's a goddamned good way to turn lemons into beer, ticker!
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby TemerityB » September 25th 2015, 7:47am

conjurer wrote:
tiktok wrote:I just had a strap shipped from Germany in an envelope, no customs form, and it took three weeks to get here and was the wrong color. I'm going to put it up for sale here with the proceeds going to the NYC Humane Society in the next few days.


That's a goddamned good way to turn lemons into beer, ticker!


Hear, hear. Bravo, tikker.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby Luftwafflles » September 25th 2015, 5:20pm

Shvienhunts. Ve haf decided that you haf no need of such vatches. The German Reic...er postal service knows what it is doing, and that is all you ubermenshcen need to know!!!
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby gerdson » September 28th 2015, 10:49pm

Thank You, Luftwafflles - I couldn't have said that better myself.
Finally some signs of life from the Admiral - actually already a couple of days ago, on 25th, but I didn't check it continually. The official situation is, that he is now in the hands of the infamous USPS:

https://tools.usps.com/go/TrackConfirmAction.action?tRef=fullpage&tLc=1&text28777=&tLabels=LX046334328DE

10 days of flight time, verdammt. I am afraid conjurer might be right, and he was "held up somewhere".

Tzimisces, I hope You have a lot of Lysol at hand.
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Re: The Admiral needs your prayers

Postby conjurer » September 28th 2015, 11:12pm

Thank Jeebus! The Admiral appears to have re-entered the New World, hopefully having suffered but little from the anal proclivities of a greasy Lebanese mofo! I believe we should all observe a moment of silence for the Admiral's salvation an avant garde, rieve gauche wrectum!
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