My Best Friend

Related to your pets. Does not include girlfriends/boy friends

My Best Friend

Postby TemerityB » December 28th 2015, 3:49pm

It's been an utter 15-year love affair. In 2000 at North Shore Animal League in Long Island, my wife and I adopted a tiny little chow mix which we named Belle (she was trucked to NY from Virginia, hence the "southern belle").

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I don't want to say too much right now, because i could write volumes, and it still wouldn't be enough. I'm a flawed human being just like everyone else, but my time with Belle was perfect. I don't regret a single poop bag, any walks in six inches of snow, cleaning vomit off the carpet occasionally ... none of it. I have treasured every ride, every mooch, every treat, every trip to the vet, every moment.

We were really lucky with our chow/belgian shepherd mixed breed dog. 15! Both breeds aren't supposed to live nearly that long. But in January of this year, we found a melanoma on her lip and cut it off immediately. With dogs of her age, they usually turn to cancer somewhere else - and it did, but not until 11 months later in November when they found cancer in her lung. We were told not to expect her to be around much longer, but it was only this past few days - the Christmas four-day break - that she really decided to lose it. Today, we put an end to her suffering. We couldn't let it go on for a day longer than it had to.

I miss my best friend so badly right now that I can't even describe it. I wish you all a friend like this, and thanks for giving me a place to vent a little. This photo below is my wife and dog just yesterday. Belle has been gone only a couple of hours as I write this, but ... damn. I'm so lucky. 15 years. The amazing relationship I had with this wacky, confident, mature, and lovable dog. The photo below is the last ever taken of her, just shot at her final trip to the park yesterday. But, damn ... as i look around the apartment and see her bed, her toys, her chair, her spot ... I'm the loneliest bastard on the planet.

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Re: My Best Friend

Postby koimaster » December 28th 2015, 4:06pm

You and your family have my condolences. I along with others know how you feel. It leaves a void that can never be filled but there are the memories that will make you smile in the future.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby svaglic » December 28th 2015, 4:08pm

I wish there was something I could say that would help. My thoughts are with you and your wife.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby JAS1125 » December 28th 2015, 4:49pm

Very sorry for your loss, T
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby foghorn » December 28th 2015, 4:51pm

Sorry T.B. I bet you guys made a great team.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby codguy » December 28th 2015, 5:04pm

The second most difficult thing we might have to do in our lifetime T. I truly feel your heartache, been there/done that.

Please remember that Belle will be waiting for you on the other side....
and with memories of her, you will never be alone.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby ocean » December 28th 2015, 5:43pm

Wish I had words for you. My condolences.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby Racer-X » December 28th 2015, 5:52pm

My condolences on your loss T. They give love so unconditionally, it is always difficult.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby hcharles » December 28th 2015, 6:35pm

Sorry for your loss, T. Belle must have been a very special friend indeed.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby TemerityB » December 28th 2015, 6:37pm

Thank you all so much. Here's the kicker: I live in one of those NYC co-op building where, when they installed a new "board," I can't get another dog even if I want one as they're now banned from the building I live in (for no other reason than the "board president' is a total plank/prick). I'm gonna be all right, because, as I say, I was lucky to have her around for all these years.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby eddiea » December 28th 2015, 6:50pm

I know how hard it is , I put my 11 years old German Shepherd to sleep last November ...miss her every single day so much, it hurts.....
I want to believe that in adopting , part of her is back with me.
Sorry for your lost.....
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby fatman » December 28th 2015, 6:57pm

You may feel lonely right now but you aren't alone, Belle is right there with you.
She lived so long because you gave her such a good life. You are in my thoughts T.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby smellody » December 28th 2015, 9:01pm

So sorry. I'd rather have my fur friends. The time together is what matters.
   
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby conjurer » December 28th 2015, 9:02pm

Sorry to hear, T. There are days when our pets make life bearable.
My horse, Dobby, was my big present

--Smellody


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Re: My Best Friend

Postby SaoGage » December 28th 2015, 9:12pm

Really sorry :(
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby tiktok » December 28th 2015, 9:30pm

Dude that's rough especially around this time of year when they put out so much heat and love. Condolences.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby AlbertaTime » December 28th 2015, 9:51pm

Really sorry. Beautiful photo.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby TemerityB » December 28th 2015, 10:04pm

You all are the best. Thank you all so very much. Honestly, just being able to vent is helping like gangbusters. Thanks again.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby Mortuus » December 28th 2015, 11:21pm

There are truly no words that can be said to lessen your pain, TB. The only thing I can recommend is to lean into your grief and allow yourself to feel all of it; you will find that it is not depthless, and this discovery is the first step in dealing with this terrible loss. You will never "get over" this, but the pain will lessen with time as you relive the many wonderful memories that Belle left with you for safe keeping. A loss such as this is so painful because we were accepted and loved unconditionally, and that's something that the members of our own, flawed species cannot seem to comprehend, much less actually accomplish. Yet, your choice to end her suffering was a reflection of that very love, because you selflessly loved her enough to send her on to whatever awaits beyond this world.

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This was our Dolly Clementine, and we ended her suffering four years ago, when she was 12, and we found out that she had pancreatic cancer. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done, and now, four years later, I still weep for this sweet little girl who brought so much warmth and love into our home. Yet, I can't help but think that the joy she brought far outweighs the pain of her passing, and for that I'm eternally grateful. I will never "get over" her, but that's okay, because it does get better, with time and memories.

My heart breaks for you today, TB, and this computer screen has gotten very blurry several times as I've written this overlong note, but I'm also very happy for you and your lovely wife for having had such a special four-legged blessing in your lives. For what it's worth, from an oft-confused half-Jew-whose-dad-was-a-devout-Catholic, I will keep you in my prayers and hope against hope that you'll someday get to experience that perfect, unconditional love again, and insect-authority (and intellect) "boards" be damned.

Godspeed, sweet Belle.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby conjurer » December 28th 2015, 11:32pm

TemerityB wrote:Honestly, just being able to vent is helping like gangbusters.


Quite so. Opening up and sharing one's loss is what makes this place (and a very few others where I dwell) a place very special.

Pets define us.

Children do, in a way, but not as much. Children are fellow human beings, and have their own character, their own psyches, their own issues. The very best people can give birth and rear the worst monsters that you can imagine.

But pets are different. They will be raised and become what their owners make of them; a good owner, a good pet. I've known people who have been the most miserable fucking bastards that anyone could have the misfortune of meeting, but if they have a good pet--i.e., a playful, intelligent and fearless dog, or a cat with a loving character, willing to investigate and (usually) attack and play with anything, I would say, there's an owner who, deep down, is a good fellow. It might not be immediately apparent, but digging down, you'll find it.

Pets demand our attention. They can be a pain in the ass, they can be loving, they can be destructive, they can be infuriating. They need us, sometimes they choose us, and in the end, they depend upon us to do the right thing. As their lives are, alas, far too short, we have to choose how their lives end, and this is a terrible and appalling thing. When this time comes, we have to be strong, we have to do the right thing. Nobody in this world deserves to suffer, and certainly not our pets. When it comes time to do what we have to do, there is nobody more noble, nobody more selfless, than the owner. To allow an animal to suffer when there is no more choice is hateful. I have known people who've had to have their pets put down perhaps before the animal's time, because they are not able to afford the cost of continued care, but that is all right--they have done what they had to do, and there is no judgement, nor should there be judgement. There certainly isn't any judgement from the pet, because they trust us, and trust us to do by them what is necessary.

People who love animals are my brothers and sisters. There is no stronger bond in the world.

As I write this Smokey is scratching at his post, and running around the house like a fucking nut. I love this little guy. I think ahead to when, hopefully many years hence, he won't be running around and tearing things up, and I'll have to do the right thing. My eyes are tearing up as I think this.

But I know I'll do the right thing.
My horse, Dobby, was my big present

--Smellody


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Re: My Best Friend

Postby kevco » December 29th 2015, 10:01am

If you can share a 'Belle" story with us.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby Thunder1 » December 29th 2015, 10:45am

TemerityB wrote:Thank you all so much. Here's the kicker: I live in one of those NYC co-op building where, when they installed a new "board," I can't get another dog even if I want one as they're now banned from the building I live in (for no other reason than the "board president' is a total plank/prick). I'm gonna be all right, because, as I say, I was lucky to have her around for all these years.


Not that it would be the same, but can't you sneak in a new dog that looks like your dearly departed pet?
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby TemerityB » December 29th 2015, 1:03pm

Thunder1 wrote:
TemerityB wrote:Thank you all so much. Here's the kicker: I live in one of those NYC co-op building where, when they installed a new "board," I can't get another dog even if I want one as they're now banned from the building I live in (for no other reason than the "board president' is a total plank/prick). I'm gonna be all right, because, as I say, I was lucky to have her around for all these years.


Not that it would be the same, but can't you sneak in a new dog that looks like your dearly departed pet?


Not really. The co-op board head knows the dog was sick. And, on top of it, dig this: our upstairs neighbors recently won a lawsuit against building management allowing them to keep their dogs - and the bastards are trying to evict them even though the board lost the case. Yes, I am suffering through the worst co-op president ever on the planet, so corrupt that he won't let anyone sell their shares unless he gets a kickback of sorts. But Thunder, yeah, we thought of that - but our departed dog was so (magnificently) gray that replacing her with a doppelganger would be impossible.

Well, it's the second day now, about 24 hours after we put her down. John, and the rest of you, your notes are fabulous. Man. I was described, in print as "a tough guy" by one of my former employers. All I can say is that it's a good thing he can't see me now. I can't tell up from down or left from right today. Easily one of the five worst days I can recall, and I'm work, no less, but the change of scenery hasn't helped a whole lot. George Carlin was so right - pets are "tiny tragedies waiting to happen."

Tiny, my ass.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby Wasp » December 29th 2015, 1:57pm

When one loves pets as we do the suffering is long and deep at their death. Aint no cure, aint no pill, aint nothin gonna make it better but time. Even at that it's always gonna hurt. That's how it is. Hard, just so hard. Pup is still gettin your love, believe it.
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Re: My Best Friend

Postby fenny » December 29th 2015, 8:34pm

Positive thoughts sent your way.
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