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Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 7:00am
by foghorn
I have become a bronze fan in the past few months and now have 2 bronze case watches. One is CuSn6 alloy which patinas much quicker and dramatically then the other, which is an aluminum bronze alloy. (see-I already learnded sumting)
I was looking on line for info on bronze watches when I saw that the most feared WarTch company was now offering bronze watches. Naturally this got the rooster sense to tingling and I looked a little further.


https://invictastores.com/invicta-russi ... odel-20539


https://www.evine.com/Product/647-338



In both links the description is of a Bronze case watch, but the details show the case to be stainless steel with a bronze tone and "base metal" with no bronze specification.


I wonder how many jamokes have entered the world of bronze watches with these bogus examples. I hope they don't hold the breath while waiting for any signs of bronze patina.

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 7:38am
by conjurer
Interestingly, I emailed my old pal, Eyal Lalo, AKA "El Supremo", regarding this development. Luckily, he was stopping off in Seattle, flying in from the Far East Switzerland so he could meet up with the Saudi Crown Prince (for whom he was trying to flog off some Pro Divers, Jihadi Edition) and we shared a fine lunch at Famous Daves in Tukwila, Washington.

Also interesting was the presence of Michael Davis, the former Technical Brand Manager, who is now working for Blackwater USA, and part of Eyal's personal security detail. Mr. Davis's job is to absorb the blast effects of any sort of IED which might explode anywhere near Eyal. As his job didn't require speech, Mr. Davis wore a ball-gag as well as a ballistic nylon suit.

"So, Eyal," I asked, "what's with these new faux bronze Invictas? Do the simps customers realize that they won't get the patina of the real thing over time?"

Eyal, who was, naturally, eating baked beans with his fingers (Hans Wilsdorf used to do this as well, Eyal told me), said "Well, you fucking dolt, yeah. But my Swiss engineers have come up with a work around for this."

"And, what's that?"

Eyal belched explosively--which made Michael Davis jump, his eyes bugging out--and said, "Here's what Invicta collectors should do: they need to find a hat, preferably a large, stovepipe hat, like Abraham Lincoln used to wear. Then, they need to defecate into this hat for about a week, then deposit their new watch--made from the best materials and crapmanship, I should add--into the hat and cover it with plastic wrap, for the duration of the warranty. Afterwards, they'll have a fine patina on the wartche!"

"So," sez I, "you're telling your customers to go shit in their hats?"

"Yup," said Eyal.

We finished our meal with some Spotted Owl pate, spread on small Swiss rolls. It was the end of another magical visit from Eyal!

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 8:52am
by codguy
Glad it was at Famous Daves and not the Flying boot.

The Boot was never the same since the three of you visited back in December of 2011.

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 9:28am
by Racer-X
This one may actually be some type of bronze, as the WIT posts show a caseback sticker and what appears to be actual patina happening.

https://www.evine.com/Product/640-635


http://watchintyme.com/showthread.php?55970-Invicta-MOW-Bronze!

http://watchintyme.com/showthread.php?55072-Mow-bronzo-got-patina

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 9:41am
by foghorn
Ever the skeptic,I see no mention of case material in the details in that listing. I can't see the purported patina picture provided (alliteration). It says I need to log in and I'm not a member.

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 9:52am
by koimaster
foghorn wrote:Ever the skeptic,I see no mention of case material in the details in that listing. I can't see the purported patina picture provided (alliteration). It says I need to log in and I'm not a member.


The sticker photo I saw stated "manufactured with solid bronze", not case made of...... Big difference.

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 11:17am
by bobbee
Here is a screenshot from the video in Racer-X's link.
It looks like bubbling on poor plating on the left upper corner to me, on what is supposed to be a brand new watch.




Image

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 11:20am
by foghorn
Sure doesn't look like this




Image

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 11:27am
by bobbee
Also, why the fuck have a display case back for such a pedestrian quartz "movement"?
Vomitous.

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 11:30am
by bobbee
foghorn wrote:Sure doesn't look like this




Image



That's a great watch foggy, but why strap it to an elephants scrotum? :D

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 11:30am
by koimaster
foghorn wrote:I have become a bronze fan in the past few months and now have 2 bronze case watches. One is CuSn6 alloy which patinas much quicker and dramatically then the other, which is an aluminum bronze alloy. (see-I already learnded sumting)
I was looking on line for info on bronze watches when I saw that the most feared WarTch company was now offering bronze watches. Naturally this got the rooster sense to tingling and I looked a little further.


https://invictastores.com/invicta-russi ... odel-20539


https://www.evine.com/Product/647-338



In both links the description is of a Bronze case watch, but the details show the case to be stainless steel with a bronze tone and "base metal" with no bronze specification.


I wonder how many jamokes have entered the world of bronze watches with these bogus examples. I hope they don't hold the breath while waiting for any signs of bronze patina.


No more bronze than granny lalo's chasity belt.

Case Tone : Bronze

Case Material : Stainless Steel

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 11:43am
by foghorn
bobbee wrote:

That's a great watch foggy, but why strap it to an elephants scrotum? :D




That's what a working mans wrist looks like close up. No tea and crumpets here.

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 11:46am
by bobbee
foghorn wrote:
bobbee wrote:

That's a great watch foggy, but why strap it to an elephants scrotum? :D




That's what a wanking mans wrist looks like close up. No licking girl's crumpet here.


FTFY!

Re: Are they up to their old tricks?

PostPosted: March 31st 2018, 2:54pm
by TemerityB
I can just hear (not that I did, just thinking out loud) the Bovine shill stating something like "real bronze-colored case."

One of my favorite scams right now are these indoor grills they're selling on TV infomercials (hi, Larry, give 'em some Alpo for me, fuckwad!) where all they say are "smokeless, smokeless, smokeless." Every review of these things (there are at least three diffreent brands doing this) claim that WTF, first thing that happened was smoke in the air. Look at the boxes, and then suddenly the name of the product is "Smoke-Less," as in "it smokes less."

Back in the day, one of us would order one of these Invicters and then someone else would get the case tested - but after almost a decade of uncovering scams more than any other site, these days my attitude is this: Fuck 'em. Let the cretinous WIT nation get fleeced, and I'll be the first one to point and laugh. They are the village idiots of the digital age, they will not believe facts in their big yellow bubble, so allow us our belly laughs.