The Worst Watch Ever Sold

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The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby TemerityB » January 10th 2016, 7:11pm

For the past couple of years, I've been posting things that happened during the previous year in early January as sort of a "wrap up" for New Year's - but this year, I'm going to break with tradition. Whadda I know, anyway; it usually ends up being a list of stuff you guys already know by heart.

So, after all these years on this forum, I'm going to let other consumers do the talking for me about what I honestly consider to be the worst watch ever sold, a complete, tasteless hunk of tin, a watch where its design flaw seemingly never is fixed by the very company that sells it, and something that everybody should avoid - and something that anyone who knows anyone else who'd consider picking one up should be discouraged from.

Those who are tired of IWG bashing should move on to another thread.

The words still echo in my ears:

"Ewww ... what is that thing?"

She was tall, she was perfect, she was dressed with just enough fabric for it to be legal, and for some reason, she was hanging with my group. During my musician days, I performed at many of the top venues in NYC. One of them was The China Club, and a bunch of us were just goofing around after a show in the late 90s. As it turned out, the young woman was a professional model, and the club always seemed to attract some rather, shall we say, attractive young people. A bunch of us were talking when someone from one of the other music groups, or maybe just someone's friend, was kind of talking with his hands, revealing a particular oversized watch on his wrist. The quote above was her reaction. I am a simple man; I only know what I see. At that time, I didn't know what the watch was or who made it - I just knew that it made one of the most heavenly creatures I'd ever talked to openly gag in front of all of us (and trust me, the fellow with the Chinese watch was plenty humiliated). Sure, she was being quite shallow ... but I forgive her because she was also right on the money:

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She was talking about the Invicta SubAqua III, the worst watch ever sold, for a myriad of reasons.

Well, hell yeah: It made a seeringly beautiful woman laugh out loud and think that a guy was sublimating, cock for watch. And I have yet to see the wrist that looks comfortable with this watch on it. It was the first clown watch at 50mm to actually gain a foothold in sales, or so we're all led to believe.

Most of the SAN III models - all 1,546,649 of them, a sure sign of quality - are just quartz watches, and perhaps they run well enough. But does Invicta's "exclusive design" warrant them selling for $200, $300, $400? Swiss Legend's similar Neptune is of better quality, and it sells for about $40 if you shop around. Croton's Super C, though from some reports nearly impossible to size thanks to gnarly pins, sold for under $100 as well. Sector makes a full line of sports/aquatic watches for about $75 that really rip IWG a new one. Stuhrling Original, yeah, I know, sells dive watches for $40 to $75 that are even better made. And let's not talk about Citizen, Seiko, and other legitimate watch brands that own their own factories and service their customers with care. So who falls for this stuff?

Oh, a lotta people. Too many people. They watch TV, they see that big, bold dial, and for some reason, this works for them. BIG!

Until they own one. The Invicta SubAqaua Noma III is the watch world's equivalent of the Ford Pinto. Top heavy as Show World Center's legendary headline performer Lotta Uptop, the flimsy "proprietary" bands that come with a lot of SAN IIIs are attached with screws that don't move. The thin rubber rubs against the screw (particularly during such mundane things as battery changes), and, faster than you can say "Toby Kimball was a bald NBA center," you have an ex-watch band, as it strips off faster than a headliner at The Cheetah Club when someone waves a twenty-spot at her.

And, oh, of course: Invicta doesn't warranty the bands that come with their watches. And as the collage of disgruntled customers below wil prove, once it's broken, the band just won't play anymore, for love nor money. You're left with a Flavor Flav-like dial that you can hang from your Johnson or display on your nightstand - but it's no longer a watch.

Here, the rubber frayed around the screw as a battery change was being made; it's the lower screw area where most of the problems seem to be stemming. The "repair" had to be made with a tube of 5-Minute Fix, a TV product that actually works (as the owner in no way was gonna do the IWG tango):

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So am I making this stuff up? Is my longstanding disdain for all things "TV watches" blurring my objectivity?

I'll let other do the talking for me; I hope you enjoy this selection of POS owners from Amazon, Yelp, Consumer Affairs, and FixYa (all comments are about SAN IIIs, and not every problem was with the bands):

From Amazon:

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From Yelp:

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Some smart company has fashioned an after-market band that will fit SAN IIIs, since IWG seemingly leaves so many owners out in the cold:

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Poor Cam got flim-flammed:

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Yelpers really are irate:

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Finally, a mish-mosh of happy IWG SAN III owners:

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Our Forest Hills consumer should realize it's not the bands, it's the company:

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So, given the popularity - and cost - of this particular model watch, how can it be dubbed anything less than the worst watch ever sold?

I rest my case ... but I hope the Florida Attorney General doesn't rest her's.
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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby Tzimisces » January 10th 2016, 7:51pm

I had the above posts analyzed by a team of experts:
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And they were not able to definitively determine that the watch is the worst ever. Nvicter simply sells too many models for this one to clearly stand out. However, they were able to certify that Nvicter is easily the worst watch company ever.
Last edited by Tzimisces on July 22nd 2016, 4:25pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby conjurer » January 11th 2016, 12:14am

Dang. Fuck.
Johannes! My knees are trembling from banging her so hard with my rod!

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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby hcharles » January 11th 2016, 7:47am

How big a hammer.jpg
Excellent post, Temerity. There is a serious disconnect between Nvicter wartch lovers and reality.
This post points it out very clearly. Thanks for your research. :Thumbsup:
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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby pellidon » January 15th 2016, 10:40am

I just looked at these over on Amazon. That photo makes the watch look almost okay. And that is the better looking one of the series. Looking at a whole page of different models caused my eyes to hurt. But then I like a less complicated watch for the most part. Beyond Day and Date things get too clustered for my taste. That thing looks like it could draw blood. And not in a doctor kind of way.
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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby Hawk » January 15th 2016, 10:56am

One of the creepier threads at the old WG forum was one where members were posting photos of scabs, scar tissue, abrasions and random wounds picked up in the course of wearing their invicters.

They literally do draw blood on occasion.
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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby TemerityB » January 15th 2016, 4:38pm

Hawk wrote:One of the creepier threads at the old WG forum was one where members were posting photos of scabs, scar tissue, abrasions and random wounds picked up in the course of wearing their invicters.

They literally do draw blood on occasion.


I remember that one. You're not kidding - that really existed.

I wanna start a watch company, call it Rolfhamnmer ("the new era in German design," I'll say, as I have some German blood in there somwhere), have some cheapjack Chinese company slap 'em together, then go on TV - ANY TV, JTV, anyone of those things - and hawk 'em. It ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. I wanna fill my pockets, the FTC and BBB and virtually nobody else seems to give a rat's ass, so let's pool our pennies and make hay while the sun shines.

(Cue Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder doing the tango)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_s2y7vc8HDA[/youtube]
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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby foghorn » January 15th 2016, 5:28pm

TemerityB wrote:
Hawk wrote:One of the creepier threads at the old WG forum was one where members were posting photos of scabs, scar tissue, abrasions and random wounds picked up in the course of wearing their invicters.

They literally do draw blood on occasion.


I remember that one. You're not kidding - that really existed.

I wanna start a watch company, call it Rolfhamnmer ("the new era in German design," I'll say, as I have some German blood in there somwhere), have some cheapjack Chinese company slap 'em together, then go on TV - ANY TV, JTV, anyone of those things - and hawk 'em. It ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. I wanna fill my pockets, the FTC and BBB and virtually nobody else seems to give a rat's ass, so let's pool our pennies and make hay while the sun shines.

(Cue Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder doing the tango)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_s2y7vc8HDA[/youtube]




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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby DocKlock » January 16th 2016, 6:18am

You also need a warranty gimmick ---- like a 5 year "FREE" warranty --- oh, wait. . . never mind.
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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby boscoe » July 22nd 2016, 3:18pm

This watch was the Most Excellent Cheese Ever! Shut your pie hole, please!
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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby TemerityB » July 22nd 2016, 3:21pm

boscoe wrote:This watch was the Most Excellent Cheese Ever! Shut your pie hole, please!


Our chocolately friend a SAN III defender? Do tell!
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Re: The Worst Watch Ever Sold

Postby abduksion » July 22nd 2016, 9:10pm

Has some of you know I use to own wait for it
The San IV on that cheap ass so called rubber had
It for three months before it broke. I learned my lesson never buy an Nvicter on rubber or any for that
Matter. And who can forget this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69y_-WH ... e=youtu.be
[b]I just wasted ten minutes reading that thread, what a total bag of shit
in memory of bigedsurf. Life's is too short give a rats ass what others think
about the watches I buy and wear.
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