Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!! BIG REVEAL!!

Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!! BIG REVEAL!!

Postby conjurer » October 6th 2017, 2:33pm

Time for another auction, goddamn it. Like the last one, the proceeds from it will go to St Jude Children's Research Hospital and forum upkeep. Here's the rules:

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=39797

Please read them!

This auction will focus on some icons of the TeeVee wartchs many of us cut (or broke) our teeth on, so pop a cold one, sit back, and enjoy!

Invicta Grand Diver

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This is a big watch. On the wrist:

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Next to my Exploder:

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Interestingly, as elephantine Invicters can be, this one isn't overly elephantine, if that's a term. About 47mm across, 52mm with crown, 15.6mm thick, and (tellingly) 53mm lug to lug, the Grand Diver harkens back to the days when Eyal could, you know, make a fucking watch. Automatic, with SII NH35 movement, with full lume dial, and (I'm guessing) mineral glass, this watch carries the model number 11753. The strap is made of something, and is good and stiff, just the way the girls like it. It comes with real Invicta cheese box and papers!

Oceanaut Seven Seas

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Now, more than a few of us remember the old Oceanaut line; run by an absolute goof named Danny Blair (who went by the name of The Watch Commander on the old ShopAtHome network), it was briefly a darling with the Smart Set. This might have been that Blair, with some genius, got Oceanauts by the hundreds added to celebrity swag bags at big awards shows--and nobody likes free shit like celebrities. Anyway, Blair, who used such terms and phrases like "undestructable," "those are some factual facts!" and "Australian mother of pearl", sold plenty of these watches, which I assume were made for him in Hong Kong, the difference between them and, say, Sturhling was that Oceanauts used to work. This model, the Seven Seas, is a big 200m diver style (I put this in here for Mr. Bloke) that measures 43mm across, 46mm with crown, 14.8mm thick, and 51mm lug to lug. It's got an ETA 2824 movement inside, along with--inexplicably--a 24 hour track on the rehaut, along with city names on the bezel, although there's no 24 hour hand. But it looks cool! IIRC, the Watch Commander used mineral glass for his crystals. The bracelet (extra links included) is well made, with screwed links and a beefy clasp, plus solid end-links. Screw-down crown that feels a bit gritty. Nice wooden box (whose hinges accidently broke in shipment. A really nice watch, boys and girls, and those are some factual facts!

And finally, and for the first time seen on any watch forum ever, the

Renato Tourbillon!!!!!

OK, I'm just fucking around there, but this one is an actual Renato Wildebeest:

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Today it's easy to make fun of Daniel Mink, the brains behind the Renato line--after a series of fuckups, from the tourbillon that never was, to the Black Card deal; from his weird makeover turning him into a corner boy to his leased Audi, La Mink is the stuff of comedic legend in this thing of ours. However, La Mink was also a smart dude--who can forget his well-played assfuck of Mongo on Pastycake's own forum? And, like Oceanaut, the Minkster got some real celebrity endorsement of his products--from Oprah, of all people. For a time, Renato owned the airwaves as ShopNBC's high-end watch brand. While Eyal was always slightly parvenu-ish in his too-tight Polo shirts and weird accent, La Mink was what ShopNBC's core demo aspired to--greasy, shifty, but also well dressed and richer than Croesus. This watch is like a time machine back to those days. Big (46mm across, 52mm with crown, 12mm thick, and an astonishingly 55mm lug to lug), brash, and surprisingly well made, with all the right details: sapphire crystal, screwed links, nice perlage on the clasp, ETA G-10 quartz movement (with new battery!). This is, IIRC, only the second Renato I've seen in real life, and like I said, nicely made and finished.

OK, that's it for this go-round. This auction will run until Sunday, 15 October, ending precisely at 8:00PM Pacific Time. We have here some real nice wartches--err, watches, and also, as an added incentive, each watch will come with another watch! So you'll buy two for the price of one. Or even less than the price of one. Or something. And remember, we're raising money to keep the forum running and helping out kids with cancer and other horrible shit, so take this into account when making your bids.

Enjoy!
Last edited by conjurer on October 17th 2017, 1:03pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby Racer-X » October 6th 2017, 2:51pm

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Last edited by Racer-X on October 15th 2017, 5:03pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby AJC » October 6th 2017, 3:23pm

Nice Rolex Exploder, John!

It would pair well with a Samsung Galaxy Note 7.
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby Racer-X » October 6th 2017, 3:54pm

conjurer wrote:...each watch will come with another watch! So you'll buy two for the price of one.


Well now, that is an important note! :bvbvbv:
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby koimaster » October 6th 2017, 4:16pm

looks like mort is parsing the collection :mrgreen:
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby foghorn » October 6th 2017, 4:28pm

I once owned the Renato and am surprised at how much it didn't suck. Substantial watches.

I remember The Commaner. I can't get him out of my living room! Wasn't he married to somebody of note?
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby conjurer » October 6th 2017, 4:33pm

Some very interesting and entertaining comments! Now, how about some bids??
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby smellody » October 6th 2017, 5:34pm

$50 bones on the Renato.
   
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby iwasbanned » October 6th 2017, 6:11pm

$30 on the Rolex/Invicta package
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby conjurer » October 6th 2017, 6:21pm

There we go! And sorry, Juan, the mystery wartche ain't the Rollie.
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby Ofcmark » October 6th 2017, 6:36pm

$25 on the Oceanaut
Last edited by Ofcmark on October 6th 2017, 6:44pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby conjurer » October 6th 2017, 6:39pm

Ofcmark wrote:$25 on the Oceanaut


Good to see you, Mark!
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby conjurer » October 7th 2017, 8:23am

Saturday Bump!

Bids thus far:

Oceanaut, $25, ofcmark

Invicter, $30, iwasbanned

Renatoe, $50, Smellody.
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby conjurer » October 8th 2017, 7:58am

Sunday bump.

Bids thus far:

Oceanaut, $25, ofcmark

Invicter, $30, iwasbanned

Renatoe, $50, Smellody.
Johannes! My knees are trembling from banging her so hard with my rod!

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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby ocean » October 8th 2017, 2:53pm

30 Oceanaut
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby conjurer » October 8th 2017, 7:16pm

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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby conjurer » October 9th 2017, 12:02pm

Monday bump.
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby Mortuus » October 10th 2017, 12:35am

$75 on the Ocean Naught. 8-)
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby foghorn » October 10th 2017, 1:28am

Old dude play in' fer real!
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby Mortuus » October 10th 2017, 1:38am

Fargen-A, Steempy! :shock:
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby gerdson » October 10th 2017, 8:25am

Guys, now don't drive cornjuror crazy again by mizballing Tex averything.
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby conjurer » October 10th 2017, 9:06am

Tuesday morning bump!

Bids thus far:

Oceanaut, $75, Mortuus

Invicter, $30, iwasbanned

Renatoe, $50, Smellody.

There's plenty of value left in these wartchs! And don't forget, there will be a mystery wartche added as swag to each winner!
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby Mortuus » October 10th 2017, 11:00am

gerdson wrote:Guys, now don't drive cornjuror crazy again by mizballing Tex averything.

Verdammt, Gerdy! Was ist mit deinem Sinn für Humor passiert? Hat dich jemand daran erinnert, dass du deutsch bist? Kein Spaß mehr für Gerdenheimer... :scratch:
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby gerdson » October 10th 2017, 9:56pm

Was? Das war doch witzig, für einen deutschen Offizier, verdammt. Best proof is John ignoring it. :)
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Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Postby Mortuus » October 10th 2017, 10:43pm

gerdson wrote:Was? Das war doch witzig, für einen deutschen Offizier, verdammt. Best proof is John ignoring it. :)


:mrgreen:
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