(Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

(Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » September 7th 2017, 4:32pm

Here's one for the laughs...

Just today, there's been a thread in WUS F11, concerning a watch by a French brand called Ultra.

It appears that the company has been "necromanced", and makes a watch that's supposed to be a tribute to their 1949 automatic, time-only watch:

https://ultraofficial.com/collections/watches/products/superautomatic?variant=1058448333

Well, 38mm, hesalite, steel case, not half bad. They're one bunch of stingy wee fuckers, as they could have bought the NH-fucking-35 or the best that Miyota has to offer... or, at least the most basic Sellita SW200 or SW300. And they use the NH15.

But when you read the water resistance rating in the tech specs, that's where the shenanigans start...

"1ATM/1M." WHAT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHAT THE FUCK IS 1M WATER RESISTANCE?!.

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By Jove, get the watch accidentally licked by the dog, and the crystal will get all fucking foggy!
1 atmosphere is, for what it's worth, 10 metres - so technically, it's water resistant to 0.1 ATM, if they didn't forget the fucking zero...

I've seen rubbish ratings before, 15m, 20m, but never - never - before have I seen 1 metre!

Pity. Such a pretty thing, such a pile of fucking rubbish. I mean, Seiko ebauches are OK, so I wouldn't expect it to run badly, but that case has to be a joke. Maybe in 1949 "splashproof" was impressive (though with Oyster, Gallet "Clamshell", Spillman and Taubert cases out there, it wasn't), but it's the 21st-fucking-century, and this has me seriously fucking unimpressed.

End of communique.
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby conjurer » September 7th 2017, 5:13pm

I find their lack of superlative WR claims refreshing. Indeed, it gives me a large, spurting, bouncing, ropey boner.
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby tiktok » September 7th 2017, 5:21pm

I much prefer watching the Seikos blow up down under.
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » September 7th 2017, 5:26pm

conjurer wrote:I find their lack of superlative WR claims refreshing. Indeed, it gives me a large, spurting, bouncing, ropey boner.

Well, I find their honesty commendable (and it's such a rare bird in the watch industry woods, that I appreciate it whenever I see it), but the engineering - unimpressive. Believe you me, the design of that watch gives me a substantial phallic reaction as well, only for that kind of money it's just not enough. It's the sort of money that buys a very, very nice Seeko - a SARB033 costs less than that watch. When it's 6R15 vs. NH15, the choice would be obvious.
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby conjurer » September 7th 2017, 5:32pm

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:
conjurer wrote:I find their lack of superlative WR claims refreshing. Indeed, it gives me a large, spurting, bouncing, ropey boner.

Well, I find their honesty commendable (and it's such a rare bird in the watch industry woods, that I appreciate it whenever I see it), but the engineering - unimpressive. Believe you me, the design of that watch gives me a substantial phallic reaction as well, only for that kind of money it's just not enough. It's the sort of money that buys a very, very nice Seeko - a SARB033 costs less than that watch. When it's 6R15 vs. NH15, the choice would be obvious.


I know. I was just breaking your balls.
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby biglove » September 7th 2017, 5:39pm

Don't sweat with your $700 wartch on, lest you fuck it up.

Even the most rudimentary case design will get you 30 meters WR. How the hell do you fuck that up and still expect people to pay a month's rent for it?
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby conjurer » September 7th 2017, 6:44pm

biglove wrote:Don't sweat with your $700 wartch on, lest you fuck it up.

Even the most rudimentary case design will get you 30 meters WR. How the hell do you fuck that up and still expect people to pay a month's rent for it?


A month's rent in Louisiana, anyway.
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby conjurer » September 7th 2017, 6:45pm

conjurer wrote:
biglove wrote:Don't sweat with your $700 wartch on, lest you fuck it up.

Even the most rudimentary case design will get you 30 meters WR. How the hell do you fuck that up and still expect people to pay a month's rent for it?


A month's rent in Louisiana, anyway.


Sorry, Loaf. I was just breaking your balls, is all.
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby biglove » September 7th 2017, 7:29pm

conjurer wrote:
biglove wrote:Don't sweat with your $700 wartch on, lest you fuck it up.

Even the most rudimentary case design will get you 30 meters WR. How the hell do you fuck that up and still expect people to pay a month's rent for it?


A month's rent in Louisiana, anyway.


A month's rent in LA for a nice apartment when I was in college. $700 will get you in an ok place but not upscale in the least.
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby foghorn » September 7th 2017, 7:37pm

Jeebus you rubes got it made!!

Around here it's 1400 for a studio.
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This is the jinnies with their legahorns feinting to read in theirhandmade's book of stralegy while making their war undisidesthe Willingdone
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » September 7th 2017, 8:16pm

biglove wrote:Don't sweat with your $700 wartch on, lest you fuck it up.

Even the most rudimentary case design will get you 30 meters WR. How the hell do you fuck that up and still expect people to pay a month's rent for it?

Sweat might not necessarily fuck it up instantly, as it mostly can get into the watch through the gap between the back and the main block of the case, which even in half-decent screw-in back cases is protected by a gasket - still, some screw-in backs (like the ones in vintage Eternas, which I just can't praise enough, the original Borgels and then the Taubert cases) are designed not to rely on a gasket, lots of them didn't even have it. Usually, a fairly tall collar with fine, snug-fit threading can well be enough of a protection against accidental splashes and sweat. Although if the case back design is rubbish, sweat will get through to the gasket, and over time, it will make the gasket (and its properties) deteriorate.

I would be more worried about the crown and the crystal, these are usually the weakest spots (in case of chronographs, it's mostly the pushers, though- even Rolex didn't get that right!). Dunno if this one has a gasket by the crystal, but I wouldn't really have high hopes in that respect. Most likely a simple splashproof measure that a crystal with a tension ring is.

Maybe I'll share a short story, just to illustrate how and why a good case matters... Right now, my '76 Certina Club 2000 is being serviced - technically, these were waterproof, but since it was an entry level collection from Certina, the solutions ensuring the water resistance weren't good. Technically, the original crystal had a tension ring (the one it had was a replacement, without that), so that when it starts to rain, not much can happen, but only then, when the watch is not submerged in water. Any submersion is out of question, as the only thing that protects the crown is a healthy portion of some special grease (no, Dirtbox, the cooking fat wouldn't work, not nearly as well as it does for shagging Petunia in the arse), which forms a waterproof seal between the crown, stem and the stem tube. Which grease of course loses its qualities over time. The case back? Well, that's interesting. It was made to rely on a rubber O-ring, which was worn. On a hot summer day, I was just mowing the lawn, and...oh, fuck, there goes the crystal, all foggy on the inside. The back was screwed in very, very tightly, as much as I could have it screwed in without the wrench jumping out of the slots and scratching the back. Without a working gasket, it was just completely fucking useless. And truth be told, I had no idea what let the sweat in, the shitty crown design (no gaskets), or the rubbish (without a gasket) back, but my bet would be "both of them." What's great about the watch is the movement, which as of now (according to the latest report from my friend) runs at +3 seconds per day- well, it's good only as long as you don't use an OEM mainspring, as the ones for this movement were often of a flawed batch, and they can break for no reason (the original mainspring broke, and the OEM mainspring that it was replaced with just broke a day after it was installed).
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby PiningforElgin » September 7th 2017, 8:20pm

The WR has to be a joke or mistake...
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby MKTheVintageBloke » September 8th 2017, 8:41am

PiningforElgin wrote:The WR has to be a joke or mistake...

I think it's just rubbish engineering, taking completely no advantage of decades of technical development of water-resistant cases. And, Ultra is a perfect example of the "social suicide" sort of honesty.
To the question "What's the WR rating of your watches?", they reply "1m"
...instead of saying "splashproof", possibly justifying it with the argument, that the original thing wasn't water-resistant either.
Sounds a lot like answering honestly to a woman, when she asks "do I look good for my age?"
It's a question you don't answer, it's a question that you dodge by questioning the validity of a part of it (the WR rating part, and the age part, respectively). Or by saying "oh, bloody hell, I left the oven on, gotta go!"
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby PiningforElgin » September 8th 2017, 8:50am

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:
PiningforElgin wrote:The WR has to be a joke or mistake...

I think it's just rubbish engineering, taking completely no advantage of decades of technical development of water-resistant cases. And, Ultra is a perfect example of the "social suicide" sort of honesty.
To the question "What's the WR rating of your watches?", they reply "1m"
...instead of saying "splashproof", possibly justifying it with the argument, that the original thing wasn't water-resistant either.
Sounds a lot like answering honestly to a woman, when she asks "do I look good for my age?"
It's a question you don't answer, it's a question that you dodge by questioning the validity of a part of it (the WR rating part, and the age part, respectively). Or by saying "oh, bloody hell, I left the oven on, gotta go!"


But with 0.1 ATM, it would mean one cannot be wearing it while it's raining or while one is washing hands in a sink.
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby hcharles » September 8th 2017, 10:18am

A lot of engineering was not put in that design.
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Re: (Ultra)Low WR Ratings- How Rubbish Do They Get?

Postby 3Flushes » September 8th 2017, 11:32am

hcharles wrote:A lot of engineering was not put in that design.

I wonder if that cold be a misprint- why bother al all? Why not just drill 40 micropores in the back of the POS and call it disposable? I'd sweat that watch to death in four hours. What a joke indeed for that price.
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